


Learning Experiences

by Dyzzyah



Series: The Seaside Inn [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Happy, Multi, Open Relationships, Polyamory, Smut, more ships than the Spanish Armada
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-11-27
Updated: 2012-01-07
Packaged: 2017-10-26 14:35:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 29,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/284423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dyzzyah/pseuds/Dyzzyah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The players are all in college, relationships grow and evolve, and things get sexy.</p><p>Let's see how many ships we can sail, shall we?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Stage is Set

The players enrolled together in the local university. Thanks to the lottery shenanigans years ago, it was not as if any of the players would starve without a career, so some took general studies, or just took classes they thought were interesting. Rose had already received credits towards her psychology degree while she was in high school, Kanaya studied art and fashion design, Sollux predictably went into comp sci, Dave studied music theory and started DJ-ing at his brother’s club twice a week, Gamzee audited culinary science courses, and Nepeta entered the veterinary medicine track (including lusus care) and took art classes for fun. Terezi went into pre-law, Vriska went into business management, and Aradia studied both archaeology and anthropology, while Feferi went to social work, and Equius took history and physical fitness classes. Jade, Tavros, Eridan, John and Karkat all took general studies, enrolling in whatever courses amused them.

Not long into the first year, Rose moved into Kanaya's room.

***

 

“Maaan, we have to do this! This is a thing! A thing that we must do! Pleeeeease? Please please please?”

Karkat was not in much position to argue, or much position to do anything but squirm a little and blush. John had him pinned against the couch, sitting on the troll’s hips, his bright face filling up Karkat’s whole field of vision.

Not being in a position to argue, however, had never really stopped Karkat. “What? Whaaat? You never said what you even want” he grumbled.

“The movie house, Karkat! The owner’s retiring and it’s up for sale. We could buy it! We could toooootally buy it! It’s just down the street from Striders, and business is good in the area.”

Karkat admitted that it was a pretty okay idea. The two of them had spent innumerable afternoons at this selfsame theater, and he knew the building well. It was old, sure, but it had a classic charm to it, an old-fashioned grandeur, with plush, comfortable chairs, and secluded little places two people who got bored with a movie could escape to make out. Business seemed pretty good, too, as the previous owner had been able to give his staff higher than average wages, and still could retire early. But if business was decent now, then perhaps, just perhaps, with new carpets, fresh paint, and a little advertising, it could get even better.

“And get this, whoever buys the place gets their whole movie library. All the movies, Karkat, all of them! We could buy the place, and sit in one of the smaller theaters and watch whatever we want, all day long! We could do that! That is a thing that could happen! That must happen!” John was giddy, in his adorkable, endearing way.

“Okay, okay, fine, jegus! I don’t even know why you need my help, though, you and your dad can afford the place on your own.”

“Well, I kinda wanted to be partners with you,” John admitted bashfully, chewing on his lip with his big goofy teeth. “I’m not asking Dad or Nanna for help, because I was hoping it could be something you and I could share. Together.”

Karkat smirked and pushed John off him and to the edge of the couch. “You are such a sentimental moron…okay, sign me up, but if this thing tanks, it’s your fucking fault.” He then lay on the couch, putting his head in John’s lap, as the blue-eyed human chattered excitedly about plans and paint colors.


	2. Jade and Tavros

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably obvious, but yes, it's my first time writing smut.

Jade was very nervous now, as was her partner. She had been confident enough, brazen even, when she pulled him into her room by his tie. But now? She was still excited, and he clearly was as well, but this was the first time for both of them, and bashfulness was creeping in during this moment of vulnerability.

Jade, Dave, and Tavros were very clear with each other. All three were in love with one another, and nobody wanted anybody to feel left out, so it had been decided that, as Dave put it, nobody would be pressured into getting their groove on before they were ready, and whomever hooked up first, the third would be cool with it; the intention was for each of the three to, when everyone was nice and cozy with the idea, have plenty of alone-time with each of their partners for the getting on of the nasty.

It so happened that conditions were just right, this night. Jade and Tavros had spent much of the day together, talking, making out, touching tenderly. Tavros had taken Jade dancing, and he, dressed in a dark brown suit and bronze tie, made a dashing figure, and Jade wore a little black number that was perhaps cut a little too low in front, but drifted prettily when she moved. The two had danced for hours, sometimes fast and loud, sometimes slow and sweet. Jade loved that warm feeling, pressed against her partner, the heat radiating from his body, the way his muscles moved under his clothing…

When they got home, it was late, and Tavros saw Jade to her bedroom door. He took her hand and kissed it, as he often did, since it usually made Jade giggle, and it made him feel like a proper gentletroll. This time, however, she grabbed him by his tie and pulled him into a kiss, opening her door with her free hand. He had offered no resistance when she pulled him into her room, and closed the door behind them. Jade was unbuttoning his shirt and loosening his tie, her lips still against his, as he slid his jacket off and tossed it in a corner with one hand, the other running through Jade’s hair, until they were interrupted with a bark. Tavros’ jacket had landed on Bequerel, who had been asleep. Both blinked, stunned for a moment, then Jade laughed and asked Bec to be elsewhere for the rest of the night. The dog blinked out of existence, and the two lovers looked at each other, snickering. The spell thus broken, they pondered their next move.

Tavros cleared his throat. “I, um…I don’t suppose…I mean…do…you want to…?”

“Yeah, um, I think I’d like to…” Jade blushed. “But, we…okay…how about this? Let’s just have fun, okay? No pressure or anything, yeah?”

“Yeah…yeah, I like the sound of that…” Tavros blushed, undoing his tie and sliding off his shirt. Jade had seen Tavros shirtless before, but she never got tired of those lean muscles. He then helped her out of her dress, and lay with her on the bed, one arm holding her close, the other hand in her hair once more. Nervously, he began to chew his bottom lip, until Jade kissed him, sweetly, and playfully licked his lips. She would never get tired of those lips, either, soft and dark and plump and sweet as dates. She fumbled with his belt buckle and pants, and he fumbled with her bra, and soon they had both wriggled out of the offending garments. Gently, Tavros cupped and massaged Jade’s breasts, kissing and licking down her neck. Jade wrapped her arms around Tavros’ neck, one hand ruffling through his mohawk, the other rubbing the base of one of his horns. Tavros’ hands worked their way up and down her sides, trailing nervously along the lace of her panties, as he began to suckle and lick at her breasts. Jade finally pulled away and squirmed out of her last undergarment, and sat before her love.

At first, Tavros seemed a little unsure of what to do. He had known that human girls didn’t have bulges, only nooks, but he had not seen a human nook in person. “M…may I?” he asked, his warm hands rubbing Jade’s hips and thighs.

Jade smiled, blushing brightly, vulnerable but ready. “Be gentle, okay?”

Tavros spread her legs and parted her gently with his fingers. He was confused, a bit, seeing her inner lips, peaked by her tiny bulge (“Do all human girls have these?”), more of a nub than anything, really. He gently stroked her, and by her squirming he could tell that she liked it. He rubbed, and stroked, and explored her, fingers gently wandering inside, and he loved the little sounds she made. He kissed his way up the inside of her thigh and began to lick her, teasing her with his long tongue, experimenting, seeing how she would react, before licking her nub. She gasped, and he grinned, and set to work seeing what he could do with this: he licked and lapped, flicked with the tip of his tongue and sucked ever-so-gently, regretting only that he couldn’t see her face, while she made all of these lovely noises and grasped both of his horns.

“No,” he thought, not without a good measure of pride, “these noises I’m making her make.” He redoubled his efforts, teasing and toying, slipping a finger inside her, rubbing and prodding and sopping wet. Jade did not take long to come, and she pulled her partner up for a satisfied kiss.

“Okay, you, sir, are entirely overdressed” she teased, tugging his boxers down. As he fumbled to get them off completely, Jade ran her hands over Tavros’ chest, tracing his muscles. She kissed up his neck and sucked his earlobe, petting and kneading his shoulders and back, before letting her hands wander down his sides, resting on his hips. She begged Tavros’ indulgence, and scooted out from under him. By her request, he lay face-down on the bed, while she rubbed and massaged his hips and rump. Perfect cheeks they were, round, firm underneath, and pleasing to touch. She had him roll over and he sat up, his bulge bronze and erect. She had some theoretical knowledge of human male anatomy, and Tavros’ bone bulge was similar, though a line of little nubs ran along the underside of his shaft, a small sac at the base, swelling slightly (with genetic material, if she remembered correctly). Save for the sac, Tavros lacked external testes—as was typical for trolls--but behind his bulge and genetic fluids sac must be his nook.

“Do you mind if I touch…?”

“Please do!”

Jade ran her fingers along his length, along the lines of his thighs, and pressed into his nook. He was already very wet, and he rocked his hips onto her fingers. She drew her hands up along his bulge, grasping, and began to rub, up and down, up and down. He made such sweet little whining noises as she pumped her hand, his back arching and his breath heavy. After a moment, he laid his hand on hers, and looked in her eyes.

“Can we…Do you…do you want…I mean…” he floundered, his eyes glazed and lusty.

Jade just smiled and straddled him, as he lay back. Slowly, slowly she slid him into her, gradually, getting used to the feeling. He moaned, staying still, letting her guide the pace, his thumbs rubbing circles on her hips. Slowly, they began to rock together, gradually speeding up; Tavros began thrusting upwards, Jade riding him and calling his name and declaring her love. Tavros responded in kind, thrusting, bucking, and finally coming, releasing into his beloved, before drawing her down to lay on his chest.

Happy and sweaty, the two lay for a while, Jade listening to her lover’s breathing, Tavros kissing into her hair. Eventually, it occurred to them to shower, then they curled back up in bed, naked and content, and slept quite well.


	3. The Next Morning

They got up fairly early, the following morning, and before Tavros shiftily snuck back into his room to grab some fresh clothes, the two decided to tell Dave. Dave had been ready for some frisky business for some time, and had been quite clear about it, but never seemed to make a definite first move, only vague advances and promises of funny walking later. Jade and Tavros also discussed whether it would be better to take turns wooing him, or simply let him decide who he would want to bed first. They walked hand-in-hand to the dining room, where Gamzee made them some eggs and bacon. He asked how the date had gone the previous night, and the two blushed and blustered.

“Niiice. Gimme the details later, bro,” he chuckled, winking to Tavros.

Tavros had almost finished his breakfast, listening to Jade talk about an upcoming paper in history class, when Dave wandered, still sleepy, into the mess hall. Jade scooted over, and Tavros patted the vacated seat between them. Gamzee brought over some breakfast (Gamzee may have had a blackflirt going with the blonde man, but that would never get in the way of serving up some truly bitchin’ eggs), and Dave found himself cuddled on either side.

“…Fuck. You got laid, didn’t you?”

“Yes! Hehehe,” Jade nuzzled into his shoulder, “how did you know?”

“For a start, Nitram smells that brown sugar honey shit you call body wash. Also, I’m being flanked by one big grin being worn by two people.”

“Is…that a problem? I thought we were all going to be cool…?” Tavros worried.

Dave stabbed at his eggs. “I’m cool. I am what coolness aspires to be. How you can sit there without jackets is completely beyond my ken. All the same though, I’m not about to let you two ride off on your white horse into the sunset, and leave me swooning and lost all by my lonesome.” Dave said, outwardly stoic, quietly hoping inside that his partners wouldn’t catch on to just how afraid he was of being left behind.

“We would never!”

“Cool. I mean, I may have bitches falling on me like rain on the ideal emokid, but don’t forget. Mine, and also mine.”

Jade and Tavros exchanged glances.

“Actually…”

“On that topic…”

“I was wondering…”

“Er, yeah…Do you have any plans tonight, Dave?”


	4. Dave's First Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave has his first night with Tavros

Dave had teased that he would flip a coin, but he didn’t want to create a timeline of doomed sex. Instead, he simply said he would think it over. Dave relished the idea of leaving Harley and Nitram in the lurch, squirming and distracted all day, monopolizing their attention spans during class and between-class study time, leaving their costly educations sad and alone and bereft of headspace, left to wander the wasteland…

Meanwhile, Dave had decided that he was likely to ravish whichever one he got his hands on first. That would be fairest, after all. He loved—yeah, he’d admit it—both of his matesprits deeply, but he also would admit the love was not exactly the same. Sometimes he could get competitive with Nitram, get a little of that old spade feeling on, while he just couldn’t find it in him to get anything but red for Harley. Not yet having bedded either, he could see himself getting rough with Nitram, the big, tough troll that he was, but he had trouble imagining being anything but tender with his human girl. Not that he couldn’t get sweet and soft with the big guy, of course, but…he could take a little roughness, some loss of control. Tavros’ nice, thick troll skin would be hard to bite through, and Dave’s human nails wouldn’t leave any lasting harm, unless Dave was really, really dedicated to it…which might be fun in its own way…

On some delicious reflection, Dave decided: for Tavros, he would be a masterful lover, firm and passionate, composed and in control, able to make anticipation and suspense his playthings; while for sweet little Jade, he would be the shining knight, the romantic, the kind and sensitive lover, ready to sweep her off of her feet and into worlds of pleasure yet undreamed.

At this point, Dave realized that he was the one getting distracted during music theory class, and whose education was sad, lonely, bereft, et cetera, but he didn’t really care. He was getting laid that night.

***

Both of Dave’s partners had evening classes, but Tavros happened to come home first. Dave had had most of the afternoon off and had spent an hour sparring with Gamzee in the gym. Even after a shower and some chilling in the recreation room, he was still feeling the rush of a good workout when Tavros came to find him. The human greeted him with his usual eloquence.

“Sup, sugarbuns,” waved Dave, lounging on the couch, feet dangling over the armrest.

“Oh, hey Dave…how was your day?” Tavros asked, politely, as if he hadn’t spent the entire day thinking about Dave. He was betrayed, however, by that blush that Dave found so adorable.

“Not bad, same old shit. Gamzee sends his love. Did Harley come home with you?”

“Uh, no, I think her class doesn’t let out for another hour, at least.”

“Cool.” Dave whipped out his phone and started typing. “You need food or anything before I ride you like a mechanical bull?”

Tavros coughed nervously. Dave knew how to throw him off guard, but then, Dave knew how to throw everybody off guard. “N..no, I, um…whenever you’re ready…?”

Dave simply nodded, sending off the last of a few quick messages to Jade.

TG: hey harley  
TG: jumping nitram  
TG: youre next  
TG: tomorrow  
TG: laters  
TG: <3

Dave then swung his legs to the floor and stood up, walked over, pulled the troll’s face to his for a sloppy kiss, and then dragged him to the lift by his horn. Dave was tempted to make out in the lift, but he liked stringing Tavros along, making him wait, letting his partner stew in anticipation. It seemed to work, as a quick glance towards the troll’s nethers showed that Tavros wasn’t going to be losing interest any time soon anyway.

“My my my, Nitram, you got something on your mind?”

“Well…” Tavros began, trying to collect himself and think of something properly clever to say, as the lift opened, and Dave dragged him to his room. He never got the chance, though, because once they were away from prying eyes, Dave was on him, all lips and wandering hands trying to pry both of their shirts off. Tavros did not wait, but kissed, and pulled, and grasped at Dave, helping him out of his clothes and his shades. Dave’s beautiful red eyes met his; a rare enough thing to see, and even though Tavros had seen his matesprit’s eyes before, he still could never get enough. Dave tore at Tavros’ clothing, and pushed him back on the bed.

“If you don’t want this, just say so, and we can stop…otherwise, this is happening now.”

Tavros didn’t answer verbally, but just pulled Dave down and sucked on the base of his neck. Figuring this was an adequate yes-please-don’t-stop indication, Dave began nibbling and nipping and biting his way down, letting his hands wander southwards. Dave had taken the time that afternoon to do some online research on troll anatomy, and had figured out what he would be working with. He palmed Tavros’ bulge with one hand as he gradually worked his lips down his chest, dawdling for a spell on one nipple and playing with the other with his free hand. Tavros keened, his hands running through Dave’s hair and over his back and shoulders, his hips bucking. Dave resumed his steady trek down, nibbling his way from the troll’s belly button to his bulge, and slid a finger into Tavros’ nook. Tavros moaned at the welcome intrusion, and ground down hard when a second finger joined it. Dave then started to tease his partner’s bulge with his tongue, licking and slurping and pumping the base with his hand, before suckling and teasing the head. Tavros rocked and squirmed and whined, and when Dave stopped and crawled back up, face to face with him, he pleaded as well.

“I’m going in, soon as you’re ready.” Dave said, matter-of-factly. Tavros nodded, spreading his knees wide, and Dave entered him, slowly, letting his partner get used to the feeling. Once he got the go-ahead, Dave started to go a little faster, sliding in and out, pushing a little faster now, and a little faster still. If Tavros showed any sign of pain or discomfort, Dave would stop until his mate was ready, but soon they were rutting fast and hard, the human wrapped in the arms and legs of the troll. Tavros came first, moaning Dave’s name, faintly tinted genetic material smearing on both of their stomachs, and Dave followed shortly after, grunting and swearing and loving Tavros completely.

Dave collapsed over Tavros, together making a sweaty, gasping mess. For a while, they just lay there, enjoying the closeness and the warmth and the whispered exchange of I-love-yous.

***

After a while, though…

“Uh, Dave? Do you want to, maybe, shower? We’re, kind of sticky…”

“Nope. You’re my sticky pillow now.”

Tavros smiled. “Okay, if it doesn’t bother you, then I guess you’re the boss.”

“Damn skippy I am.”


	5. Dave and Jade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last pair of these happy three hook up, and emotions become discussed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, I hadn't intended to write three smut chapters back to back...it just kind of happened.
> 
> Also, feelings.

The next morning, when Dave was in class, Jade and Tavros had a chance to cuddle and make out a bit, and also to share details about the previous night. Tavros gave her a juicy play-by-play of his session with Dave, and Jade listened, curious, blushing, and increasingly flustered. Tavros got a bit flustered, himself, as well, and when Jade cleared her throat and proposed having a go ‘round before Tavros left for his date with Gamzee, he grabbed her hand and took off towards the elevator. They decided to use Tavros’ room this time.

“On that note, you’ll probably want to take Dave to your room,” he warned, “His room is a complete mess, and I tripped twice on my way to the bathroom this morning.”

***

That evening, Dave made a date with Jade for some lovings of the carnal nature, and late that night, they went to Jade’s room on her insistence. Dave had wooed her with romantic poetry (rapped, but he reasoned that that is a kind of poetry, and it was a nice gesture all the same) and led her, arm wrapped around her waist, to her room, murmuring sweet nothings and assuring her of his all-night-long intentions.

Jade pulled Dave into her room, much tidier than Dave’s, though she seemed to have even more things in it. They stood, just inside the door, kissing and stroking, Jade’s hands working their way up under his shirt, and he held her close, stroking her back and hips. He sat on the bed, and Jade stripped him of his shirt before pulling her own off. Dave fumbled more with her bra clasp than he would like to admit, but he was too preoccupied to berate himself, because boobs.

The inside of Dave’s mind echoed with conflicting voices. One side told him to “ravish the ever-loving fuck out of her,” while the other insisted “don’t go too fast, don’t scare her off, and whatever the fuck you do, don’t hurt her. For god’s sake, the girl trusts you.”

Gently, Dave stroked one of Jade’s breasts, teasing the nipple with his thumb. Tenderly, he licked and sucked on the other, knocking his sunglasses askew. Jade smiled and took his sunglasses, drawing away to put them and her own glasses on the nightstand, and taking the opportunity to finish undressing before laying on the bed, holding her hands out to Dave. He joined her in bed, leaning over her, ghosting little kisses over her neck, murmuring lovely little romanticisms. His hands inched downwards, slowly, Jade squirming.

“More…” she purred into his ear.

Dave kept going slowly, touching, teasing, and Jade whined and pleaded and begged. If one were to ask him if he was trying to restrain himself, or just trying to tease her for longer, Dave honestly couldn’t tell. He could, however, tell one to get the fuck out, he’s busy, and can’t one see that?

After far, far too long in Jade’s hungry, eager opinion, Dave began to tease her pearl with his fingers. Again, slowly, and carefully, and meticulously, as if he feared she might break. He began to crawl down, kissing his way down her belly, then up her thigh, before pausing.

“If you don’t want this, just say so, and we can—muph!” Dave couldn’t finish his sentence, because Jade had taken the initiative and pushed Dave’s face between her legs.

“I asked for MORE” she groaned.

Welp.

Allrighty then.

He started licking and lapping at her, relentlessly, while fumbling with his belt buckle. Why had he even left his pants on so long? Fucking fabric prison, Little Strider has work to do, and neither rain nor sleet nor gloom of night will stay Davewang from the frenzied, aching completion of his appointed rounds. Dave paused his tounge-work to kick off his clothing, and leaned over Jade again.

“You ready for this, princess?”

“You bet!”

He entered her, and she wriggled a little to get comfortable. He started pumping, slowly, but not timidly, and she smiled up at him, gazing into his eyes, wrapping her arms about his neck. Faster he went, gradually, muttering foulmouthed protestations and ecstatic blasphemies.

She bucked and writhed under him, purring his name, while he increased the volume and intensity of his rocking and his swearing. She pleaded, begged, and swore up and down that he wouldn’t break her, and only then did he start pounding, hard, rutting away like heat-crazed dog. She squealed, and he stopped, worried, but she pulled and tugged and ordered him to keep going. He resumed his heavy thrusts, and found himself so very, very cool with those giddy squeals. Jade didn’t take long to come, and he was right after her, thrusting and riding out the waves of pleasure. Once again, Dave collapsed onto his partner, but she rolled him onto his back so she could curl up beside him, her head on his chest. Jade kissed her matesprit, both feeling happy and satisfied.

***

 

“What’s on your mind?”

“That…wasn’t what I expected.”

“Geez…love you too, Dave.”

“No! I mean, it was great! Five stars, would go again—“

“I’d hope so, I like this ride.”

“Yeah, that’s kind of it.” Although he had grown somewhat more used to trusting and opening himself up to his partners, it still was not often Dave let his guard down completely. Jade listened patiently.

Dave turned, his eyes meeting hers, sheepishly. “This will sound dumb. Let’s just put that out there and get it out of the way, okay?” Jade nodded. “I guess I figured you for more of the delicate flower type, but damn, girl, watching you get worked up and into it and fucking TELL me what to do…shit, woman! How’s a man supposed to be all suave when you go and do that?”

Jade headbutted his chin a little. “Doofus. Your suave is inescapable, and you know it. It’s like gravity, it is simply a fact of nature.”

“I s’pose it is, at that,” he admitted. “I just hope I didn’t disappoint you. Figured you’d want all that slow, sensitive lover shit. Like, you’d be this vulnerable princess, and you’d wanna be swept away by your knight in shining denim and whatnot.”

Dave disliked admitting it, but he had a lot of insecurity under all of his layers of coolkid persona, particularly about how he would compare to their shared matesprit. Tavros was the sweet, sensitive type, who often seemed like he couldn’t shut up about feelings, while Dave only could talk about them now and then, and only briefly, before his defense mechanisms kicked in and the poker face came out. The troll was a born romantic, and could cuddle and kiss and be vulnerable in the presence of others, plus he was taller and had a strength that even Dave couldn’t match, and damn if the brownblood wasn’t sexy…what if Jade felt the same way? That Dave simply couldn’t match against that huge quixotic dork, and no amount of cool manner or wit could sway her. What if Jade didn’t need a guy like him? What if Jade loved Tavros as much as Dave did, but didn’t love Dave as much as he loved her?

Dave sighed and turned his head, avoiding Jade’s eyes. “I want to be your knight. I’m scared, okay? But Tavros is the big romantic doof, not me, and I don’t want to lose you, not to anyone…”

Jade interrupted him. “Dave, I don’t think you can disappoint me. And yes, I love Tavros, and I also love you. And I love you when you’re lovey-dovey, and I love you when you’re cool, and I even love you when you’re being kind of a dick. I also seem to love you while we’re making love, imagine that! But clearly, we will need to test that hypothesis further,” she smiled. “You aren’t worried I’ll steal Tavros away, either, are you?”

Dave looked back in her eyes, and she could see fear in them. “…Oh geez, you are! Dave…oh, Dave Dave Dave…” she held him close. “Nothing is going to come between us, and nothing is going to come between you two, and nothing is going to come between he and I. We’re all in love, we’re going to make this work. Let’s all talk this over in the morning, okay? We’re all going to be together, and it’s going to be okay.”

Dave did not speak, but just held her to his chest. She spoke a few more quiet reassurances, until he fell asleep. Not long after, she would sleep as well.

***

The next morning, Jade woke first and showered. Dave was still in bed when she came out of the bathroom, so she slipped out and knocked on Tavros’ door. She spoke with him briefly, and returned to her room. Dave made a little murmur when she sat on the bed next to him, and when he blinked and shifted, she ran her fingers through his hair.

“Morning, Dave.”

“Mornin’ beautiful, y’sleep alright?” he mumbled, scooting his head into her lap.

“Yeah. You?”

“Had this dream where we had incredible sex. Musta been a dream, nothin’ can feel that good,” he purred into her thigh. Jade just smiled and scratched the back of his neck.

A few minutes later, Tavros knocked on the door, rolling in a little cart with coffee, syrup, and three plates of waffles. Tavros climbed into the bed for a good-morning kiss, first from Dave, then from Jade. Dave was sitting up now, sheets protecting his decency, eyeing his partners suspiciously, as Tavros passed him his breakfast.

“Feelings jam?” he asked Jade, accusingly.

“Told you we’d work this out in the morning,” she replied through a bite of waffle. “We both love you, and neither of us wants you to feel bad, or worried, or anything like that. Right Tav?”

The troll agreed. “Yeah, Jade didn’t tell me the details, only that you had some things on your mind we should sort out together, and that you’d probably be hungry.”

Dave took a swig of his coffee. “I…yeah.” He started a couple times, trying to find the right words, feeling like a tremendous fool, before giving up and having a bite of waffle. “Okay, this is my pre-dorkitude warning. Dorkiness abounds, just…deal with it.” Dave paused, staring intently at his breakfast, as if to force his breakfast to confess instead. “I’m scared, okay. I love you both, but, y’know, I worry. I want to be enough for both of you…”

“Aww, Dave…” Jade drew him into a hug, and Tavros scooted around to hug Dave from his other side, both uttering assurances and affections.

"We love you!"

“We love being around you.”

“You could never be not enough for us, because what you are is wonderful!”

“I love the way you talk with me, and how you listen.”

“I love just being with you, and being myself with you.”

“And more importantly, we love you.”

“We both love all sides of you, your masterful side, your sensitive side…”

“…Your backside.”

“Jade!”

Dave started laughing, rich and hearty, while Jade protested. “What? This man has a great backside, Tavros. Admit it, this is one particularly tap-able ass.” Jade’s hand wound behind Dave and squeezed a cheek a little. Dave blushed and grinned.

“Hey, princess, be careful, don’t start that up if you don’t want to follow through--Tav!” Dave shoved the troll, whose hand had ended up on the other cheek.

Tavros grinned. “Happy Dave is my favorite Dave,” he purred, nuzzling the human’s ear. “Particularly naked happy Dave."

Dave nuzzled back, feeling like the world had been lifted from his shoulders.

“Feeling better?” Jade asked, cuddling up as Dave had an arm around each of them.

“Yeah, thanks,” Dave nuzzled back, then snaked his arms back around to finish his breakfast. Later, he’d be the coolkid again. Later, he could have his poker face on if he wanted. But now? He was safe and sound, with his two matesprits, and he could just be relaxed and goofy. He talked with his partners a little while longer, Jade collected the dishes, and Tavros whistled when Dave wiggled out of the sheets to go shower.


	6. The Many Miracles of Gamzee Makara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gamzee makes dinner and reflects on his world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun writing this one! Not least because I am a total foodie.
> 
> Also, writing this much profanity was a very new experience.

Gamzee Makara was living in a world of miracles.

It was spring semester, and everybody been getting their midterm on. There was just so much space, man, so much space in this big hotel hive, that it got to be the ideal place for study jams. Today Kanaya had her study group over, and John and Karkat had some classmates over for study and movies, and sometimes some of the others would just show up with friends. And Gamzee? Gamzee would be ready to feed ‘em all.

Ever since Nanna Egbert started traveling with Grandpa Harley, more space opened up in the cooking rotation, and Gamzee was happy to take on extra days of cooking when she was gone. Yeah, some of the other brothers and sisters joined up in the rotation, and Pappy Egbert still handled that shit two days a week, and that was cool and all, but Gamzee loved to cook. He loved to cook so motherfuckin’ much, and he got to as much as he wanted. Miracles, man. This night was Gamzee’s night, and he set his think pan to simmer over his plans.

So, shit, okay, so Kanaya had some friends who be vegetarian, right? That’s cool, but they probably ain’t gonna want none of that fine-ass beef curry that was all simmering up. Not that this curry wouldn’t be a miracle all up on that rice, but Gamzee had respect for people not wanting to eat this or that. It don’t reflect none on his cooking, it’s just all people’s choices, and what kind of motherfucker would he be, getting all up on people because they went the cow-friendly way? Shit, cows are cute; sweet mooing big-ass motherfuckers. He hadn’t heard any of green sister’s friends being all vegan, though, so a quiche should be fine.

Quiche, now there's a miracle if ever the fuck there was. Gamzee hadn't had a sopor pie since this new universe all up and started. Sopor slime existed, all being a sleep aid, dabbed lightly on the skin, and would usher in slumber as it soaked through the pores and all, but Gamzee still hadn’t touched the stuff. Pies, though? Pies, Gamzee couldn’t get enough of, and what all is a quiche, but a fine-ass egg pie? A fine-ass egg pie with spinach, feta, and caramelized onions. Shit yeah. Ain’t nobody can say no to that miracle.

Gamzee always had the ingredients for a homemade pie crust, so he started measuring out ingredients, and set a pot of spinach to braise, and another pot of paper-thin sliced onions and shallots to lightly brown.

This world had such miracles. See, milk. Milk already up and be the perfect food, created with love for one’s young, with extra to spare. Milk, that elixir so perfect a wiggler could live on it and nothing else for a year, and be healthy as a goat. Milk, already so perfect, but these people, man…these people up and take that milk, and they do all this crazy shit to it, but they do that crazy shit just oh-so right, and it all up and gets to be cheese. How do they do that? How did they up and know to do that? Who was the motherfucker what decided, hey let’s put these specific bacteria strains or this rennet all up in this milk, and get these curds just so, then age those motherfuckers in this one specific cave for exactly this long, and see if that tastes good? Shit, man. So here, a quiche be made up of milk, the first food of life, and eggs, that if fertilized would have been life, and on top of that--well, underneath it, you gots to put the fillings in before pouring that wicked milk-eggs custard in that motherfucker—there’s cheese, what be all perfect milk made better. Who all up and designed this madness? A motherfucking genius, that’s who.

Gamzee had got himself to the point where knowing how a miracle happened didn’t make it less than what it was; it only showed how deep and complex that miracle got to be. One time he got to reading Nepeta’s anatomy text, and just…shit, the endocrine system, man. Really, fuck anybody what says that ain’t nothin’ short of a miracle all up in everybody’s veins.

By this time, three pie crusts were blind-baking in the oven, filled with pie beads, another piece of genius shit right there. Next, he took a moment to check on the onions sweating in the pan for the quiche, and a quick check on the curry for seasoning. Gamzee checked a second oven, caramel corn was drying there, needing a stir every half-hour or so; Karkat and his film buddies got a taste for that shit some time back, so Gamzee made sure to make it whenever Best Friend and Windy Boy have their movie bros over.

Gamzee washed his favorite vegetable knife and cutting board, and drained the spinach, washing the pot and setting it on the stove to make the rice. He then set himself to work, slicing carrots and celery and green peppers, garnishing with little radish roses, making a crudité platter for any of those fine study-buddies that be all craving some fresh veg.

Here comes another miracle now! Tavbro and Dave came in, chitting and chatting. Well, Tavros was doing the main share of the talking, Dave mostly just threw in commentary here and there. Tavros hugged Gamzee and asked how he was, Dave nodded his head in greeting. Gamzee nodded back at Dave and smooched Tav up all nice. Tavbro and Dave and Jade had been getting their bump on for a few months, and over the last couple weeks, their happy triad had branched out. Jade had been with Fishysis and Crabbybro, though perhaps not in the biblical sense just yet so far as Gamzee knew; Dave had been getting his get-it-ons with Terezi, who was probably right freaky in the sack; and Tav? Tav had gone right to Gamzee, and they had been making the sweet music now and then. That was just fine with the indigo, this way he could have his space, and still get his sweet feel-good on. Tavros was a beast in the hay, too, and pretty soon, Gamzee planned to start making sweet hate with Dave, too. Miracles, and things just kept on getting better.

The curry was close to but not quite done yet, though, but the smell, mercy but that intoxicating smell, was bringing in others besides Gamzee’s bedtime-buddies; Spidersis and Li’l Miss Lawyer were at a table, arguing about some shit or the other. Gamzee finished assembling the quiches and put them in the oven to bake. He got the caramel corn out of the other oven, and started some plain corn all a-popping in a pot on the stove. He had seen four of Karkat’s buddies go into the study together, not counting John, but sometimes more would show up late. They wouldn’t mind if the popcorn was a little cool by the time they got around to it, after all. No matter how many snacks Gamzee made, every little morsel got eaten up, which filled the troll with such a pride he’d think he’d up and burst. Meanwhile, Kanaya drifted her fine self in, and asked, oh-so-nicely, if it’d be okay if her study-buddies stayed on for dinner. Kay-lady knew right well Gamzee would insist on it, even if she hadn’t asked, but bless her polite self, every time, she’d all up and ask so sweet. Gamzee got a rolling cart and loaded up the crudité platter, a bowl of pretzels, a bowl of crackers, and some salmon dip he’d made earlier and walked her back to the study. He left the snacks there, for both study groups to share, and promised to send someone to get everybody in maybe an hour, when the food was all up and ready to feed some hungry motherfuckers.

Gamzee came back to find Feferi now in the kitchen, stirring the curry a little. She saw Gamzee and grinned that big sharp grin of hers, that could just light up the world like the motherfuckin’ sun. She jammed with the cheftroll for a while, asking what was all in everything, what she could do to help, should she set the table and for how many, and just catching up on what all Gamzee had been up to that day. Fishysis was a hell of a listener, and always seemed to think up these freaky-insightful things to ask. How all did she get to be so clever? That sister could up and be an investigative journalist or some shit, how easy and free a troll could get when talking to her, bear-trap grin and all. Sweet little thing, and so very happy lately. A little investigating of his own brought Makara up to date on her sweet little love life: Fishysis got all up on lady Jade like maybe a week ago, and things seem real nice on that front. Possibly more like moirails with benefits, but shit, if they be having fun and enjoying life, than it don’t much matter what shade of red that miracle is. Maybe even more than that, Sollux had gotten it in his head to go and ask if he could have at with two of his partners at once, and both Feferi and Aradia had got to be so very, very down with that. Three trolls in a bed, loving life and loving up on each other.

Not long after, Jade herself got dragged in by Eridan; girl must’ve been all hyper-focusing up on some project, and Fishbro up and forced her to rejoin the living. She all smooches her boys, and gives Feferi a couple lovin’ lip-presses, and chats up a while. Gamzee gets to wondering if, for all the time she spends jamming with Sollux up in the lab, and how good they dance around each other in that little tech room full of robot parts and machines that go “ping!” and whatnot, and how good Jade and Feferi get on with each other, maybe Jade’d make for a good third for Sollux and Feferi, what all when Aradia is busy.

When dinner was all up and ready, the quiches out of the oven and set up, Eridan went and fetched everybody. Sollux, Aradia, Equius, and Nepeta were all up in the lab, and everybody else that was home was all in the study. When Karkat came in, Jade gave him some kisses, and he got such a cute little blush going on, Gamzee made a note to ask if he got it on with her yet. Tavbro and Dave don’t much seem to mind, it’s all good.

Gamzee once read that jade, both nephrite and jadeite, can be all meant to cause love and successful relationships, and shit if that just don’t seem perfect.

So a meal was served, and Gamzee asked Dave if he’s up for some fun that evening, since Tav and Jade made some alone-time plans, and all signs were pointing to good things. One of Kanaya’s study-sisters was making eyes at the big Capricorn, which had gotten more common since he stopped painting his face all the time, and even if he wasn’t so interested in girls, he took it as a compliment. When everything got eaten, he took that as an even bigger compliment. There ain’t no satisfaction like that of a chef that all gots everybody full and happy.

The last few snacks got scooped up by Karkat’s movie group, who finished studying and were rewarding themselves with a flick, like usual. Eridan did a lot of the clean-up, he’d been a right helpful motherfucker since he decided to up and be a better person, and Nepeta stayed and helped him, and Equius stayed and helped Nepeta, and Gamzee sauntered off with Dave under his arm for some sweet, sweet hate-making, and fuck all if he ain’t gonna just wreck that human’s pretty little mouth, and motherfuck if that ain’t just the best kind of day.

Miracles, man. Motherfuckin’ miracles.


	7. Waiting for Aradia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lost in thought, Equius waits.

Equius Zahhak might well be the luckiest troll alive, regardless of whatever that Serket upstart might say on the matter. He had played some small role in the creation of not one but two new universes, he had been brought back to life, he had battled against the demons of depression and won, he had managed to conquer even his own strength, and he had both the finest moirail and the most beautiful matesprit ever to grace this or any other world.

He had finished up in the lab for the evening, and was waiting, relaxing on a couch with a Strongbow in one hand and a largely ignored book in the other. The obvious appeal of the name aside, Equius had developed a taste for hard cider, though he seldom had more than one in a sitting, and only rarely more than three in a week. He briefly reviewed his schedule in his mind; he had kept up quite well with his studying, having finished his first semester with a 4.0, and this semester seemed to follow this trend. His robotics work had been going reasonably well too, as evidenced by the little clockwork mice he had been making to amuse Nepeta’s cats. Wind-up mice were nothing new, but Equius had made a personal project of making tiny walking robotic mice, that could jump and scamper and climb, strong enough that even their tiny delicate legs and wide ears would survive the pouncing and batting around of a half-dozen rambunctious felines, and tracking chips to make them easy to find, should they get lost. Once the design was perfected, he would patent them, and donate a score to the cat rescue shelter. Equius wondered if anyone would care whether or not the robotic mice had eyelids; he did like to be thorough, after all.

Equius did so like things orderly. His schedule was set in blocks; class, and study, and work, and relaxation, and bonding, and bath, and sleep. On this and this day, he would have Aradia in his bed. On this and this day, she would have him in hers. On those days there, she would be with Sollux, and Equius would stay up later and spend more time with Nepeta, or with other friends. Thus, even in amidst the chaos of social interactions, structure could be attained with sufficient planning. There was dignity in order, and a certain refined quality. Even without the hemocaste, Equius considered himself something of a refined gentletroll, and his order and his structure lent themselves well to his self-cultivated gentility.

Equius also liked it when someone ruined his order. Often, the more frustrating the disruption, the better. There was a perverse thrill at being at the whim of something else, particularly of someone else. It was no secret that he liked to be ordered around, to be dominated, to have someone completely ignore his strength and his dignity…it was delicious. Aradia would frequently indulge this, but more often than not, their intimate evenings would be romantic, candle-lit affairs, sensual evenings of heartbeats and hands and gasps—after all, it was not as if Equius did not enjoy the simple pleasures of being with his lover, an equal partnership of sense and touch and the taste of sweat and skin.

But on his nights alone, he did so love to be abused. Perhaps Karkat new this, when he would seek out Equius to shout at him, for he only did so on those nights when Aradia was elsewise indisposed. Perhaps Karkat thought he was doing the blueblood a favor, or perhaps he simply liked the feeling of power. Perhaps that did not matter. It would be quite sufficient assistance for Equius to tend to himself afterwards. Perhaps the redblood even liked the idea of Equius pleasuring himself, his angry words ringing in the long-haired troll’s ears. Equius would not mind, were that the case, as he himself had no place to stand in judgment over another person’s kinks.

On one occasion, Equius had confided in others of his need for this selfsame service, when Aradia had been away for a spell, travelling with Mr. Harley and Jade to some far-off ruins for two weeks. Dave had obliged him, forcing the troll to give him piggyback rides, while Eridan had, only after insistence upon a safe word, nervously ordered Equius to do menial labor and massage his feet, the whole time worrying that he was being too forward. Awkward as those days might have been, they had still made for sweet memories, indeed.

One of Nepeta’s cats sauntered in and imposed himself on the troll’s lap. Only barely distracted from his thoughts, Equius stroked the cat absently, letting his mind wander once more.

Equius derived great joy out of doing things for Nepeta. Dear little Nepeta, that sweet little girl who could calm him down with a word, or incite him to a frothing rage with a single tear. Seeing her toothy smile made his day complete. Hearing her laugh made him think things would be all would be right with the world. Knowing how alone she felt, as all of her friends paired or tripled up broke his heart. His dearest moirail, perhaps the most romantically-minded troll around, having no concupiscent relationship to call her own; it seemed such a tragedy for anyone, let alone Equius’ little darling. Such a clever thing she was, and so adorable in her manner and figure. Equius could not conceive of her being without a mate for so long. Equius pondered, as often he did, if perhaps he might know some proper young troll, or perhaps even a human, who might fit well with his sweet diamond, but matchmaking was more properly Nepeta’s domain. Perhaps a better course of action would be to ask Karkat for advice; Equius had weighed this option many times before, but had never followed through, as they both knew quite well that Nepeta herself had flushed admirations for the nub-horn.

Nepeta had, Equius reflected, been a great a supporter of his courtship of Aradia, even in high school. He had longed for the ram-horned girl for years, before they had entered this new universe, before he had made her a robot body, before she had died the first time. Aradia had been beautiful then, so graceful and elegant, even under the dirt and grime and clay of her digs, even when he thought her blood caste to be so far beneath his…but the woman she had grown to be, she was beyond anything and everything. With her rebirth, she had regained the cheer and vitality she had lost with her life; she was vibrant and alive, so very alive. Men could live entire existences, and never once have that sheer delight in being that that red-blooded woman personified. She was a constant inspiration to him, but more than that, she was a guide, a confidant, a lover, and a friend. For all of her laughter and spontaneity, however, she could be as organized and methodical as she pleased; perhaps this lent well in her dealings with both of her matesprits. It was yet another aspect of Aradia that Equius truly appreciated.

Nepeta's at, at this point satisfied, poured himself from the troll's lap and wandered away.

Equius did not bother to return to his book, his Strongbow all but gone, as he waited for his beloved to return. After a pleasant dinner, he would take her to her room, where he already had placed flowers; she loved surprises like that, and he loved being able to provide her with an excuse to be delighted. Sometimes he would choose his floral gifts by means of the most aesthetically appealing blooms, but as of late, he called more upon the language of flowers to guide his selection; he and Aradia both seemed to prefer bouquets of red roses and blue violets, for true love and faithfulness. Tonight, however, Equius had selected orange lilies for passion, and red poppies for pleasure.

There he let his thoughts linger. Aradia had been on a class trip, touring museums in another city, and it had been a several days since he had been with his darling; he had missed her achingly. He thought on her, his love, with her perfect lips and perfect eyes and perfect everything, not perfect because of the features themselves, but because they belonged to Aradia, and Aradia was perfect. She deserved no less than everything she could want, every surprise and amusement and delight that the world could offer her. Equius wanted nothing more than to play a part in her delight, this evening.

***

Time passed, and Aradia returned to seek out her beloved partner. Together, they dined in the mess, talking; the redblood talked about her trip, and several key exhibits, and her day, and her frustrations, while Equius listened and commiserated. When they had finished and cleaned up after themselves, Equius carried Aradia to her room. Though they both knew that Equius had Aradia’s full permission to enter her room—it had become their room, really—like a gentleman, Equius waited until she invited him in before imposing himself inside. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he wrapped his around her waist.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you, too. I love you.”

“And I you, my dear.”

Nothing else was said that night, not with words. They spoke only in caresses and ghosted kisses, in fingers and tongues and in slow, deep thrusts, and in tender, loving bites; they sang in harmony in low, resonant moans and high, pleading whines.

Together they lay, satisfied and spent, the heavy scent of lilies overpowered by the scent of sex, and Equius could not imagine a man alive so blessed and lucky as he.


	8. Game Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a game is played.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little thing to amuse myself; I had some fun writing this, I hope it's fun to read, too.
> 
> Also, I need to play more D&D.

“I don’t see why I can’t just stab him.” Vriska pouted.

“Vriskers! We can’t kill him, we need him to lead us to the bandit hideout!” squeaked Nepeta

“I could just stab him a little. Put the fear of god into him.”

“No stabbing, Nepeta’s right,” agreed Aradia, from behind the DM’s screen. “You have to find a way to get to the bandit encampment. Hey Jade, as long as you’re up, would you get me some more cheese curls?”

“He’s a thief and a brigand. It would be totally justified.” Terezi protested. “And he could still take us where we need to go, just leave his feet and tongue intact…”

“His eyes, too,” added John, “Or he won’t be able to see where he’s taking us.”

“Meh, he’ll make do,” shrugged Terezi, as Sollux rolled his eyes.

“Look at you, all vindictive, Egbert. That’s not the compassionate friendleader I know,” said Dave, peering over his sunglasses at John.

“First thing, Dave, shut up. Second thing, he’s fictional. And third thing, I didn’t say I was supporting the maiming of a fictional buttface bandit, I just said that he'd need eyes if he was gonna see."

“Juuuustifiiiied” sang Terezi. “Shouldn’t do the crime if you can’t face the punishment.”

“Tho you want to thtab him too, TZ?” asked Sollux, through a mouthful of chips.

“No, I want Vriska to do it. My paladin is above inflicting corporal punishment upon a prisoner of war.”

“I thought you jutht thaid it wath juthtified.”

“Why does it always come down to stabbings with you guys?” asked Jade. “Seriously, I’m pretty sure you’re just doing it to cheese us off, now.”

“Gasp, how could you suggest such a thing!” exclaimed Vriska, mock horror on her face.

“Vriska. Your rogue tried to stab the cleric that was healing her, last week. In the crotch, if I recall.” reminded Aradia, holding up her campaign log.

“Shut up, that was hilarious.”

“If I can offer just one non-stabbing option here?” Tavros chimed in, “If we convince him to join our side, then he’ll help us on our own, right? My ranger has 18 charisma and ranks in Diplomacy and Bluff. Maybe I can talk to him and get him to join us? Or, Sollux, I think, has Gather Information and Sense Motive. Maybe we should both talk to him, and Sollux can see if he’s lying and if he drops some useful information by accident.”

“Do bandits have or use Sense Motive? That could be a bad thing. Maybe we should keep Vriska and Terezi away from him, just in case,” said John.

“You sure about that? We both have Intimidate, too…could be uuuuuuuuseful.”

“Then he’d never join our cause. It would be nice if we could get through this with the least amount of bloodshed possible…"

“Poor softhearted Tavros…justice simply is not so kind,” Terezi cooed, reaching for another can of soda.

“I have a sling, too, and that does nonlethal. That means no blood even leaves the body, if that’ll ease your prissy little wuss-mind,” jeered Vriska.

“I like not having to kill him--“

“I said I wouldn’t kill him!”

“…or maim him, personally” continued John. “I wonder if, if we get this one bandit to our side, like really get him so he thinks we’re awesome and best buddies and totally in the right, then maybe he knows some other bandits that would join us? Then we’d have all kinds of advantage there! While at the same time having less bandits to fight!”

“Bluh, no way, I need my XP,” scowled Vriska.

“You earn XP no matter how you defeat the enemy; if you do it by talking things out, you still make purrrogress towards furrrthering your character,” reminded Nepeta, not bothering to look up from the griffon she was coloring.

“You losers are no fun.”

“If you believe that, then why do you keep playing with us?” asked Aradia, a bemused smile on her lips.

“Because I’m the best ever, and you would be on your asses without me.”

“Actually, she’s the DM, so she really wouldn’t have any problem without your rogue, because she doesn't have a character."

“Oh, shut up, Jade,” Vriska groaned, rolling her eyes.

“Yo, Egderp, quit hogging all the dip!”

“No way, Strider, this is waaaay too good. It is my precioussss…”

“I still say we should stab him.”


	10. The Last of the Monogamists

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brief retrospective on the nature of relations between one Rose Lalonde and one Kanaya Maryam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I kind of have to get wordy with these two. A few years of magniloquent one-upsmanship between them makes for some interesting dialogue, in my mind.

When asked, Rose Lalonde would oft describe herself as the last of the monogamists.

It was not that she felt like she had to keep only her one partner, but rather that she wanted Kanaya Maryam, and Kanaya Maryam alone.

There was kinship between the two, for a start. Between their years together and their heretofore similarities, both had refined their speech patterns to a state of magniloquence. Despite their verbosity, and the lengths each could take to make a point verbally, either one could nevertheless divine their partner’s thoughts from the barest twitch of the brow. The two might go for hours, nary a word spent between them, both in complete harmony in thought and action. It was a common enough occurrence, if Kanaya were to even think on a new project, some new skirt or hat, why, Rose might already be reaching for a complimentary yarn to stitch a matching shrug. And if Rose had the least concern over an upcoming test, or some theory she struggled with memorizing, Kanaya had an uncanny knack for knowing how to best assuage her concerns, without the fair maiden having yet said a word.

However, in Rose's eyes, there was more to Kanaya than a mere kinship mixed with physical attraction. It would be a poor thing indeed to say that Kanaya was pretty. Kanaya was so much more than merely lovely, she had poise and glamour and presence. She had broad shoulders, such that she might take the world on her back, yet she walked with the light step of a faerie; her hips were broad as well, wide and beckoning, beneath a delightful soft belly, and pert, round breasts. Her lips, so black and sleek, in that beguiling smile, and her eyes! Her eyes sparkled like emeralds set among citrine. Kanaya was as a classical goddess; ethereal yet earthy and curvaceous, with nimble fingers, elegant horns, and the graceful feet of a dancer. Her voice was smooth and deep and rich, refined and sultry, and she spoke with precision and dignity, her speech all stitched in honey and prose. But beauty was but one facet in the peerless gem that was Kanaya Maryam. She was loyal, and she was direct, and she was quick-witted, with such a nimble tongue. Publicly, she had an unrivaled serenity under fire, and in time of crisis, all but Rose would know her for a pinnacle of calm clarity and composure. She was sage, far too wise for her years, and though her manner was often as cool as polished marble, she was kind, and she was dear, and Rose knew quite well the passion and fire that burned within her.

There were times when Rose might swear that Kanaya was a goddess made flesh, and would gladly worship her, with her words, and with her body.

There were times, hard times, away from prying eyes, when Kanaya would weep, would fuss, would rage, when she would be a small and feeble thing that only Rose could see, and Rose would be her shield and her comfort, protecting her as best she might from all woes, within and without.

Whether Kanaya Maryam might be goddess or woman, Rose was a most willing consort.

Whether Rose Lalonde might be worshiper or savior, Kanaya was a most willing partner.

Happily, the two lived together, sharing a bed for many months. Rose was not Kanaya’s only lover, however, as the Virgo would spend the night with Vriska several times a month. Vriska would never be the partner that Rose was, however, and Kanaya made certain that the human was aware of this. It was understood that, should Rose have any urge to indulge herself as well, she was welcome to; but Rose had neither need nor want of anyone but her crook-horned beloved. In the realms of what might be called romance, she had, at most, a moirallegiance with John. She was close to her other friends, of course, and she had a strong bond with her brother, but in as much as romance was concerned, that was the extent of it.

In matters of the boudior, Rose would readily confess that all her needs were quite well met. Both maidens were possessed of a hearty libido, and were flexible enough to try new things, and to ask without fear of judgment. Kanaya would often request to nip and suckle blood from Rose, who gladly indulged her, and grew to savor the taste of iron in Kanaya’s kiss. Rose had surprised Kanaya once by asking to be tied up, and the troll had lovingly wrapped her in strips of the finest Egyptian cotton before taking her, roughly, her perfectly manicured claws raking fine red streaks in the blonde’s porcelain skin. After that night, sometimes Rose would ask to be tied again, sometimes it would be the greenblood who would be bound, and sometimes they both delighted in having their hands free to wander wherever it might occur to them to go.

Kanaya thought sometimes that the two of them had been created just for one another, and Rose would never disagree.

***

It was not a terribly remarkable day. Rose was studying; she had elected to take a full course load over the summer, taking as many fast-track courses as possible, relying on Dave and Aradia to give her an extra day or week here and there to work. Rose was all too aware that their entire timeline relied upon her being a capable psychologist, and that some time in her twenty-third year, she and her darling would travel back in time to ensure the sanity of sixteen younger selves. As such, Rose had not taken more than a few days from study in years, and when she did allow herself a brief respite, she would have one of the time-travelers warp her back so she could spend the same time span productively. Thus, it was a nigh-daily occurrence, that there might be more than one Rose wandering about the halls, or eating in the mess, or quietly dozing with her face in a book. Despite this, she never complained; she saw this as her duty, and a more-than-fair payment for a happy household, healthy friends, and a magnificent partner.

The summer session was only a few weeks old, but she was already quite busy with work, spending long hours in the study. She had had little time for herself, and less time still with Kanaya. Now and then, the greenblood would peek into the study, bringing either nourishment or encouragement or both, and Rose would smile and thank her. Kanaya would express her pride at Rose’s dedication, as well as her concern over the girl’s poor self-care. Rose would thank her for both of these, and resume her work. Then Kanaya would linger a moment, and leave the blonde to her studies. This pattern repeated several times daily, over a few weeks, and Rose began to wonder if Kanaya was feeling neglected. They had remained happy and satisfied together in all matters of the bedroom, but, Rose surmised, sexual chemistry is not enough for a proper relationship. With that, she vowed to, once this paper was complete, take an evening or a weekend and simply be with Kanaya. Perhaps Dave might even be persuaded to bring her back in time from a week in the future, such that the two of herself might finish the project sooner.

Rose exited the library, stretching her back and her weary shoulders, looking for her ectobrother. He was easily found, canoodling in the recreation room with John, who grinned widely and waved. Rose greeted them both, and stated her request.

“David, I fear that I may have been a poor consort for my dear matesprit; something seems on her mind as of late, and for all my wits, I can only assume it may have something to do with my time away from her, slave that I am to the gears of academia. Might I make something of a request? I have rather a weighty paper that needs must be complete, and it occurs to me that, once that task reaches its completion, I would have ample time, for a spell, to bestow upon my sweet Kanaya. If I were to have myself plucked from a week hence, and brought to this time, that she might help me finish faster, then the time of our reunion would be all the sooner.”

“Cause thy tits to become calm, Rose. I’m afraid I’m gonna have to turn you down on that one, but don’t worry, things will be plenty busy for you pretty soon,” was Dave’s only reply. John, on the other hand, had that suspicious red look, the one that usually meant he was fit to blurt out something he was not meant to know in the first place. Dave coolly slipped a hand over John’s mouth.

Rose scowled. “Might I ask why?”

“You might.”

“Well, why?”

“Let us just say there is already weird time shit in the works, and I got no plans on further complicating a time stream. Let us also say, your paper will go fine. They always do anyway.”

Rose harrumphed, but accepted this answer. She left to return to the study, still curious about what weird time shit in particular was going on, and why she had not heard about it before; though on reflection, she had not recently seen any unaccounted extraneous selves, so she decided to give her brother the benefit of the doubt.

It was late afternoon before Kanaya showed up in the study, with a covered tray in hand. She closed the door behind her, and sidled up to Rose.

“How goes, my dear?”

Rose sat back and rubbed her eyes, yawning, her stomach beginning to growl. “Better, now that I am once more in your presence, my love. How fares with you? I have sensed some level of upset shadowing your lovely face, my dear, and for that I am truly sorry. I apologize, that I have had so little time with you of late. I hope that both you will forgive me, and that once this damnable paper is done, you might honor me with a weekend to ourselves.”

Kanaya smiled, seating herself on the desk, taking Rose’s hand in hers. “I suppose I must have been quite transparent, myself, if you were able to glean such from my manner, though I would insist that it was not upset, exactly, that you have seen, but rather something else, my love.”

“Mm? And what troubles you, then? Might I provide some assistance, perhaps?”

“Not assistance, my darling, but there is something I would wish you to bestow upon me, and for this reason alone have I been at odds within mine own mind. Both for that which I would ask, and for the timing with which I ask it.”

“If you would but name it, Kanaya, I will see it yours,” replied Rose, kissing her lover’s hand.

“Then I would name yourself,” she said simply, withdrawing a ring box from beneath the tray. “I would have you for my wife, Rose, should you accept.”

Rose sat, her lips gradually curling into an unusually wide smile. “Then, sweet Kanaya, what choice have I but to accept? Though, if I am to have you for my wife in exchange, I should think myself to have the better of the bargain.”

Kanaya leaned down and kissed her new fiancée, sweetly, on the lips, and placed upon her finger an emerald solitaire, bound in delicately etched white gold.

"Might I request that you spare the evening, my love?" asked Kanaya, offering her hand to Rose. "This does seem cause for celebration, and I have a mind to spend some time with my darling."

"I can think of nothing I could possibly prefer," was Rose's reply, taking her lover's hand.

Hand in hand, the two exited the study, to find the whole of the household in the hall, smiling and applauding. John and Jade each tackled Rose with hugs, as Vriska and Karkat clapped Kanaya about the shoulders in congratulations.

“Strider,” said Rose, in mock accusation.

“In the flesh,” smirked he.

“’Weird time shit’?”

“More like ‘about god-damned time shit.’ Does that fit better? Your woman has been fussing over this for weeks.” he said, finally slipping in for a little hug of his own. “Congrats, sis.”

Rose thanked him, just before Madame Lalonde pulled both she and Kanaya into a hug.

“Congratulations, dear daughter and dear daughter-to-be. This is a momentous occasion, and one that clearly calls for tequila.”

Terezi cackled, Nepeta whistled, and Gamzee blubbered happy purple tears. Karkat clapped his hands and shouted, “Right, nookwiffers, make way for the happy couple, we got a party room reserved at that Mongolian place, and it’s ours for the rest of the night. Shoo, shoo! Move your asses, people, we have a fucking engagement party to get to.”

Heading towards the garage, arm in arm with her future bride, Rose asked, “Would it be safe to assume that everyone was in on this? And how long have you been planning this?”

“It would, my dear, and this has been on my mind for some time, though it did take quite a while to find what I thought would be the perfect ring for you, my love. I only was able to secure the bauble today.”

“Mm. So you were able to tell everyone but me? Ah, am I always to be the last to hear things?” she asked, her wry lips smiling.

“Well, I did not tell Bec.” Kanaya smirked, opening the car door for Rose.

“Bec is both a dog, and omnipotent.”

“That fact remains that I did not tell him,” Kanaya shrugged, her own lips curled in a smile.

"My, but you will make the most excellent wife, sweet Kanaya."

"I will try to be worthy of mine own sweet wife, my Rose" she replied, as she drove out of the parking space, and towards their engagement party.


	11. Arts and Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nepeta is in distress, and Eridan is determined to help, though he doesn't know what he's getting into.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick reminder and for those who didn't read Endings and Beginnings: Halfwaze are troll/human hybrids.
> 
> Also I like typing in dialects and verbal quirks.

“Awww, but I need your help! Pleeeease?”

“Nepeta, what you ask is most unfitting! I cannot, I dare not!” blustered Equius.

“Don’t be so shy, Equius! It would be purrrrfect for you!” she insisted, poking his shoulders. “You’re well-built, and with all this muscle definition, you’d be such a great model…”

“I cannot conscience exposure of my person, to such a degree, to be so indecent in front of so many strangers…” said the larger troll, cowering under the gaze of the smaller. The two were in the laboratory; Nepeta had found him at his usual workstation, tinkering over yet another robotic project, this time a mechanized canary that could take any audio file and translate it into birdsong. The prototype looked the part, and the programing should have worked, but the damnable thing would only sing in macaw. At this moment, the blueblood would give his pointed horn to be working on it again, rather than face the fearsome pout of his moirail.

“It’s not indecent, it’s art!”

“Nevertheless, I am afraid I must still decline; I do apologize…I will ask the others, however; perhaps another would be willing to assist you in this undoubtedly academic endeavor? I seem to recall Jade assisting you before, perhaps she will again?”

Nepeta pouted. “Jade helps a lot, but this time we need a male model…”

Equius blustered. “I…oh my…well, if that is the case…hmm, yes…perhaps if I see Gamzee later, he might be persuded...he has been most busy as of late, but...I will try, at any rate, though I can promise nothing."

Nepeta grinned, and pecked her moirail on the cheek. “Thank you, Equius!”

“Again, I can make no promises!” he called after her, as she skipped out of the laboratory.

Nepeta had decided to take it easy over the summer, taking art classes part-time for fun. She had amassed a small group of friends from her earlier art courses, and they would come over weekly to draw or paint, sometimes working on assignments, sometimes merely sharpening their skills. As the host of these drawing parties, she was responsible for finding models and supplying props and easels.

She scooped up one of her cats, and flopped in a beanbag chair in the recreation room. Petting his soft fur, she indulged in her habit of talking to cats when no one else was around.

“He’s just being silly, don’t you think, Skitter-Skatter? It’s not as if Aradia would mind, and I really need a model. He’s just too shy fur his own good! I think it’d be good fur him. But…I don’t know if Gamzee would be able to model…come to think of it, would he even be able to stay still fur that long? Mrrrr…I don’t think Karkitty could, he’s going out with Terezi tonight, and I don’t think he’d want to anyway.” Nepeta sighed, scratching the cat’s chin, lost in thought.

“So my moirail can’t help me…that’s no good. If I had a boy matesprit, maybe I could get him to do it for me…mrrrrrr…who am I kidding? I just want a matesprit because I want a matesprit…it’s lonely, Skitter-Skatter…Oh, but I’m happy so many of my furrrends have pawtners! I suppose, in a way, it’s kind of good that I’m the only one who’s alone…that means nobody else has to feel like this…Skitter? Do you think I’ll ever find a playmate?” she asked, hugging the cat a little too tightly, before Skitter-Skatter slipped out of her grasp and wandered off.

“Myewww…” she cooed, sadly. She had considered herself lucky that she had seen so many of her friends find kismeses and matesprits and otherwise meaningful romantic or sexual relationships. She had been so very pleased when everyone around her found someone, but it would be a lie to say she did not feel left out. This would not be first, nor even the fiftieth time she had sunk into such a lonely mood, and she was at a loss for what to do. She had no one she hated—though she was no nearly so interested in black romance—and no one who loved her in a flushed sort of way. Grateful as she was for her wonderful moirail, she wanted more, and she despaired of ever finding a partner. A small voice inside her reminded her that she was not even twenty, and it was madness to assume such a young thing would be alone forever, but logical arguments have little sway over matters of the heart, and Nepeta felt no less alone.

Nepeta sat, weeping softly, huddled up in her beanbag, until the rec room door opened.

“Nep? You in here? You got a call.”

Nepeta quickly rubbed her eyes with her sleeve. “I’m here, Erii.”

“Hey Nep, the shelter wants…you okay? What’s wrong?” Eridan squatted next to her beanbag.

“I, um…something for school. What does the shelter want?”

“Uh, well, they was askin’ if we can take over an extra shift on Sunday afternoon, ‘cuz Hamish was gonna be out of town. If you don’ feel up to doin’ it, though, I can take care of it myself.”

“Nah, I can do Sunday,” she said, trying to smile.

“Nep, seriously, what’s wrong?” Eridan took her hand, brows furrowed with genuine concern.

Nepeta paused a moment, “I, well, see…my group, see? We need to draw a model, a male model, and I’m responsible fur furrrnishing one. But Equius won’t do it!”

“Is that all? Fuck, Nep, I’ll do it, if it’s that big of a fuckin’ deal. Why didn’ you ask me?” he smiled, gently.

Nepeta cleared her throat, “We have to draw a nude.”

“…Oh.”

Nepeta sighed, but Eridan continued, turning lavender around the cheeks. “But, if you need a model bad enough t’cry over, I guess there’s nothin’ else for it. What time an' where d’you need me?”

“What, really? Oh, tomorrow, around noonish. Um, we usually draw in the studio.”

“Okay. But it better be casual; I won’t have anyfin to wear.”

Nepeta snickered, and Eridan smiled and kneaded her shoulder. “There we go, there’s ol’ Nep. You ever need anyfin, you go an’ ask me, got that?”

Nepeta nodded, beaming, as Eridan left to call the cat shelter. At least one of her woes would be out of the way.

***

Nepeta and five friends were busy arranging a space in the middle of the studio. Like most Saturdays, the six had assembled and were setting up their space in the usual fashion. They had brought in a plain chair and placed upon it a soft cushion, with a small table and a bowl of fruit next to it. A rich, plush rug had been laid underneath, and a box of props and fancy hats—with and without horn-holes--sat nearby. The art girls were discussing and acting out which positions they wanted to draw. Perhaps they would even let the model decide, if he got into things, as Jade had done on occasions before.

Around eleven forty-five, Eridan came to the studio, purple-cheeked and clad in a knee-length bathrobe. One of Nepeta’s friends, a maroon-eyed halfwaze, demonstrated the first position, a relaxed seated position in semi-profile, holding an apple, one leg crossed over the other, one arm slung lazily behind the chair back. Eridan apologized in advance, stating this was his first time modeling, while another of Nepeta’s friends closed the curtains. The six girls then sat in a semicircle, drawing pads and pencils at the ready, while Eridan nervously disrobed, slipping his glasses in the pocket of his robe, and sat as the first girl had indicated.

Eridan did not have a bulky build, but he was lean, and he was toned, and he was on full display before the girls, his gills and cheeks flushed lavender, unable to hide his embarrassment. His crossed legs blocked some of the view of his bulge, but that did nothing to lessen the feeling of being exposed all over. For a man who even on the hottest days would usually wear wrist-length shirts and scarves, and who avoided swimming in less than a full bodysuit, and who flatly refused to make hate with the lights on, he had expected he would feel uncomfortable, and the experience was certainly meeting those expectations. The girls could see everything; they could see the little fins that traced along his calves, and the webbing between his toes, and the violet lines on his sides where his thoracic gills lay. They could see the big black freckles on his shoulders that he hated so much, and the little fins just below his elbows that looked to him just a little crooked, and even the frilled gills on his neck. Given time, they would see small fin-ridges on his back, and the creases of his buttocks, and the little dimples of his vertebrae, stretching from his tailbone to the nape of his neck. They could or would see everything about his body that repulsed him.

It would be entirely accurate to say that Eridan was terrified. Whether he was more afraid of the five girls he hardly knew, or the one girl he knew so well, Eridan himself could not say. Despite his sincere wish to grab his robe, run out the door, and blanket himself with as many layers as it might take to feel safe and covered, Eridan sat perfectly still, staring intently at the apple.

Nepeta was counting on him, and by god, he would not see her cry again.

Eridan had once heard that the key to dealing with stage fright was to imagine the audience in their underwear. Desperate for something to ease his fear, he tried exactly that…until he began to find himself aroused. With his leg in the way, it was unlikely any of the girls would notice, but he panicked and began to visualize the least sexy things he could think of. The seadweller was still picturing Goatdad getting violently ill all over the beach when the girls compared their drawings and said that Eridan would be free to move again. He stretched a bit, attempting to nonchalantly cover himself with his hands, while another girl, a red-headed human this time, showed him his next position. This time, he was to kneel on the rug, curling himself into a ball, his arms stretched out in front of him and his hands supine. At least in this position, he did not have to look at the girls who were drawing him, though he could feel their eyes on him, searching, comparing the lines on their papers against the lines of his body, noting the light and shadow that lay on his skin. He stayed, perfectly still, unable to see, but able to hear the little whispers darting between the girls, under the scratch scratch scratch of their pencils.

“…very good at this…”

“…would’ve thought he’d done this before…”

“…fun to draw…”

“…purrrrfect lifesaver, I didn’t know who to turn to, but he volunteered…”

Eridan, his face blocked from view, hazarded a smile. That was why he was doing this, after all: to be of assistance. He tried to concentrate on how much it meant to Nepeta and the other girls, instead of focusing on his discomfort with the situation. Thinking this way, he was a little more comfortable when the girls finished drawing him, and told him he could move if he liked. He stretched out his back, and two of the girls blubbered about how well he was doing, and how much they appreciated the help, to the agreement of the rest. Eridan smiled, and stretched, and got ready for the next position. This time, he was to stand, fully exposed, one leg well in front of the other, a hand on one hip, and the other extended forward, like a general posing as he leads his troops to victory. He took up the position, and the girls set again to work. Even without his glasses, Eridan could make out their expressions, and where they were looking. To his surprise, none of them looked critical, or judgmental, or disgusted by the gills or the spots or the dimples, and any curiosity about the rare specimen of a seadweller had already passed. It was professional; they were the artists, and he was the subject. Eridan felt himself beginning to enjoy this.

By the fifth position, Eridan was joking with the girls and asking to see their work. By the seventh, he was offering ideas of his own. By the ninth position, it was widely agreed (at least, by the girls) that they would be finished soon, and that the girls would take Eridan out for drinks in appreciation. After the tenth position, the girls were finished, and Eridan slipped his robe back on, curtseyed demurely to their uproarious applause, and went to change. He had offered to come back and help the girls clean up, but they would not hear of it, so he would be content to wait for them in the mess.

“Soooooo, Nepeta…you pailed him yet?” asked the maroon-eyed halfwaze.

“Pamela!” Nepeta sputtered, nearly dropping her half of the prop box

“What? I would.”

“He does seem like a right gent, worth havin’ a go at,” agreed the red-headed human.

“Lucy, it’s not like that! We’re just furrrends.”

“Oh no, don’t tell me he don’t like girls?” asked Lucy.

“No, he likes girls, most definitely, but, ohhh, it’s a long story…he used to be super-creepy and clingy, and he was sooo desperate. He tried to get me to be his matesprit once, but I turned him down.”

“Crikey! I never would have guessed he was like that, one would think a creeper would have been making all manner of passes, standing naked in front of a pack of ladies." said a teal-eyed troll.

“Well, he isn’t any more. We were only around thirteen at the time, and I guess he’s changed a lot since then,” Nepeta said, exasperated. “He used to be all gross and creepy, and he’d purrrsue anything that moves. He tried to get his ex-meowrail flushed for him, and when that didn’t work, he tried to get anybody and everybody in his quadrants, and he was soooo desperate! He was absolutely impawsible. It’s like he didn’t even care who he was asking, only that somebody, anybody said yes! So, of course, we all said no!” she pouted. “He didn’t want me fur a matesprit, he just didn’t wanna be alone.”

“Tch! Asshole” hissed a blonde halfwaze.

“That doesn’t sound like the guy he is now, though. Didn’t you say that this is the guy who keeps helping you at the cat shelter?” asked a pigtailed troll with green eyes.

“And isn’t he the one who keeps taking care of your cats and your lusus for you?” asked the redhead.

“I’ve seen you with this guy a lot, and you talk about him often. In fact, the only person you seem closer to is that big guy with the long hair,” said the tealblood.

“Well, we are really close, now; best furrrends, even. He always helps me out with stuff, but he does that fur other people, too.”

“Nepeta, dear” began the teal-eyed troll, “Ask yourself this, will you? Is he now the sort of person you would like to become matesprits with?”

“I don’t know, Dahlia…I guess I haven’t thought about it since we were kids. We help each other out sometimes, and we spend a lot of time together, but…I guess I never thought of him that way. It’s not like he brought it up, either.”

“Well this’d be a great time to start thinkin’, now that you seen what’s under the hood. ‘Sides, wouldn’t it be a shame if’n you shut down the guy he is now, on account’a the guy he was then?” grinned Lucy. “But if you haven’t got yourself any red aspirations, I might give it a shot.”

“Myeww…but I don’t even know if he thinks about me that way! I never thought about it untail now! Myewwww!" Nepeta squealed, hiding her green cheeks in her hands.

“He might be afraid to. You said yourself, he was insistent and relentless, but he changed for some reason. Maybe he’s afraid to make a move. Does he have any relationships where was he instigator?” asked Dahlia.

“No…he has a kismesis who made the first move, and he has Jade, who declared them meowrails after they were furrrends for a really long time, and he’s gone out with a pawful lot of people, but it was always other people who ask him out.”

“Then that’s your solution, Kitten. You have to think about if you like him, and if your answer is yes, you’re going to have to initiate things yourself,” Dahlia smiled gently.

Lucy patted Nepeta on the back, chuckling. “Don’t worry, got no intention of makin’ a move until you figure out for yourself; pals before pails. Stiiiiill, I make no promises after I get enough Jack Daniels in me.”

“Lucy…”

“Hush yer face, Dahl. Get some Jackie Dee in me proper, and yer lucky if you an’ Neppy don’t both wake up my matesprits.”

Nepeta couldn’t help giggling.

“What d’ya say, Neppy? Be my drinky waifu?”

Nepeta laughed, and Dahlia interjected, “I do believe we owe Sir Ampora some compensation, Kitten, would you see if he’s ready to go? We’ll finish putting things away here.”

Nepeta left the studio to find Eridan, and if there was any conspiring or cahoots going on in the studio, she did not hear it.

***

After a quick dinner, the art students dragged Eridan to Striders for drinking, possibly dancing, and miscellaneous rabble-rousing. On the way, Nepeta explained their relationship with the Strider brothers, and her artmates seemed impressed that she and Eridan were housemates and close personal friends not only with the owners of the biggest bar and dance club in the city, but also with the young owners of the Crowning Plaza, which had re-opened in late spring after renovations, and was already one of the more popular movie theaters.

The elder Strider brother was the deejay of the evening, and even though it was still early, the place was rowdy. Most of the players had Saturday evenings off, and dancing at Striders was a very popular weekend pastime for the housemates, but Eridan and Nepeta seemed to be the first from their home to arrive, this evening. Eridan insisted the whole way that the girls did not have to take him out, but they would have none of it. Thus it was, Eridan found himself in a booth, squashed next to Nepeta and five other girls, with a local microbrew lager in front of him. Nepeta herself sipped gingerly at a sweet muscat. The girls who were not Nepeta chatted with Eridan, teasing out tidbits, finding out his interests, his preferences, and his love life status.

Although Eridan was not initially forthcoming, half-way through the second round, they had been able to glean that the troll was feeling a bit neglected by his kismesis. Sollux had been spending less time with the seadweller lately, in part because the yellowblood had found that he liked nothing so much as being between two lovers, and Eridan did not want to complicate his relationship with Feferi; and that, while he felt awkward about sharing Sollux’s bed at the same time as Aradia or Karkat, he was slowly warming up to it. And yes, Eridan did want to look into other relationships, but he was afraid of coming on too strong, so while he held admirations towards some, he never acted on this unless he had some sort of proof of interest on the part of the other party.

Half-way through his third lager, Eridan had loosened up enough to dance with whoever asked him to, wetting his throat again between songs. While he was away from the table, Nepeta’s friends urged her to ask him to dance, but she simply blushed green. He had gotten reasonably pickled by the time Jade and Feferi came in, who, upon finding the art girls, joined their table. Eridan returned, on the arm of one of the girls, and greeted his housemates.

“Here getting my free drinks, are you?” Jade teased.

“I s’pose I mus’ be,” Eridan slurred, bowing both to his ex and his current moirail, “I didn’ reelize this wuz a reg’lar thing…”

Jade giggled, "Yep, an afternoon's modeling for an evening's revelry; that's usually the deal."

“Maybe I should try modeling, too! It sounds reely fun!” laughed Feferi, “Jade told me about all these fun poses and oh! Lots of cute hats, right? Heeheehee! Have you been enjoying it, Eridan?”

“Y’know, Fef, I didn’ think I would, but it wuzzn’ so bad as I mighta thought…an’ izz jus’ nice t’know I wuz able t’help out when this poor li’l girl was in such a state,” he said, perhaps clapping Nepeta a bit too roughly on the shoulder.

“Oh?” asked Dahlia, her eyebrow cocked.

“A’course! Nep here, she wuz cryin’ an’ bawlin’ cuz she needed help, and whut’s a gennulman gonna do then, huh? Couldn’ jus’ leave th’poor li’l kitten to her tears, that jus’ ain’ fuckin’ proper.”

Nepeta shrunk back into her coat, as the more sober portion of the table looked at her.

“Really…” smirked one of Nepeta’s friends.

Eridan continued, brow locked and tone serious, “Jus’ ain’ right, cute li’l fin like Nep ain’ s’posed t’cry ever, okay? Never never ever never. No kind an’ jus’ universe oughtta allow that shit, okay.”

“Maybe you can help her again! Neppy was just saying how she wanted to dance, but was too shy to ask,” said Lucy.

“’Zat so? ‘Course we can dance, Nep, all y’ever gotta do is ask, y’know that,” he said, dragging her by her wrist to the dance floor, Nepeta glaring daggers at her friend, while all of the girls chuckled.

Against all odds, Eridan’s state of inebriation had not dampened his dancing skills in any notable fashion, though he was a bit more bold about sliding an arm around Nepeta. He was graceful as ever, stepping and moving and keeping the rhythm, uninhibited and simply one with the music. Nepeta took a few moments before she, too, loosened up enough to enjoy dancing with her inebriated housemate, swirling and bobbing and bouncing with him, both taking care to keep time and keep close. It would be several songs before she would relinquish him to another partner.

***

Late, late into the night, long after all well-meaning day-dwellers should have been to bed, the art club and model left Striders, having excused themselves to the other half-dozen housemates there who had filtered in over the hours.

Returning to the inn, Nepeta had waved to her friends, all leaving by taxi, and helped Eridan make his way to his room, before going to her own. Rest was not easily found, however, as the battle between thought and sleep was tipped in thought’s favor.

The next morning, she groggily made her way to the lusus barn, where she found her cats, Bec, and all of the lusii already fed and tended. A quick check of the animal care sign-sheet confirmed Eridan had again managed all of the barn-tending duties for the morning, as usual. She wandered to the mess, finding Eridan was already there, a disheveled wreck, nursing his head and staring down at his toast as if it had insulted Seahorsedad. She grabbed some cereal and sat next to him, and he grunted.

“Hangover?”

“Ngh.”

“I told you to drink some water befur you went to sleep.”

“Nghhh.”

“You gonna be okay?”

“Ugn, yeah…’m gonna be fine by the time we go…”

Nepeta ate quietly for a moment.

"Erii?"

“Nyeah?”

“Why do you do all this stuff for me?”

Eridan looked up, despite his throbbing head and current enmity with light and sound. “What’re you talkin’ about?”

“Well…modeling yesterday…and you help me study even though you aren’t in my classes…and you always take care of the cats and the lusii for me…and you talk with me a lot…and you’ve helped me with the shelter for years. I just want to know why.”

“Well…” he started, clearing his throat, “I…want to, I guess. Seein’ you happy is important to me. I mean, we’re friends, ain’t we?”

“Yeah…we are…” she hesitated, “…but, you’re not like this for all of our friends, you know?”

Eridan blinked, sitting up, wincing from his pounding head. “…What’s really on your mind, Nep? You didn’t say ‘furrrends,’ you just said ‘friends.’ What’s botherin’ you?”

Nepeta’s cheeks flushed olive and she stared into her bowl. “I’m not really sure…I suppose? I suppose I would like to ask you out, but I’m afraid you wouldn’t be interested.”

“Jegus dick, I must be hungover…” he said, shaking his head.

Something inside her cracked and sank, hard. That was not an answer she could have expected. “S…sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking…sorry Erii…” she babbled, standing up, almost choking on the words. Before she could go, however, Eridan grabbed her hand and kissed it.

“Nep, no, I need you to sit an’ hear me, okay? I need you t’know, I wasn’ doin’ stuff because I wanted somethin’ outta you you weren’ willin’ to give. I wasn’ doin’ it because I wanted you to be to me more than y’were. I wanted t’spend time with you because I wanted t’spend time with you. I care about you a fuckin’ lot, I hope you get that, okay; but I never had any expectations, or even hope you’d want more from me than that. I messed things up before, I done things I can’t ever undo. But I promised myself, if I got another chance t’be anyone’s friend, I wouldn’ fuck it up…an’ I’d like to think I mostly lived up to that so far. If what you’re askin’ me--if what you’re offerin’ me is a second chance t’be somethin’ more, I promise you, I will not fuck that up either. But I need, NEED to know that I didn’ mishear you, because you are way too fuckin’ important to me to lose because I misunderstood an’ made you uncomfortable.”

Nepeta sank into his arms, leaning against him, sniffling. “No…no, I think you understand pretty well…” she said, wrapping her arms around his waist.

Eridan cupped her chin with his hand, pulling her gently to look him in the eye. He brushed away the muddy-green tears that were beginning to stream from her eyes. “Nep, would consider you bein’ my matesprit?”

She smiled and kissed his nose. “Maybe we should date fur a while befur getting committed like that, Erii.”

“Then I’ll be fixin’ that this very evening, Cod willin’ an’ the creek don’ rise. Soon as we finish up at the Land of Yowling and Catbutt, I’m takin’ you out, anyfin you want.”

“I’d like that, Erii…oh! I have to tell Equius not to wait for me! Back in a minute!” she giggled, and kissed him on the cheek, before skipping out the door.

Eridan chuckled to himself and cleaned up her dishes. Shortly after, Equius would storm in and deliver a brief and threatening lecture about the risks of misleading or hurting his precious moirail. Still after that, Eridan would have the dubious pleasure of cleaning up some impressive amounts of catsick, and receive a number of bites and scratches for his trouble. Still later, Eridan and Nepeta would sit through a movie that was terrible at best; and even so, Eridan would still count his day as truly magnificent.

***

It may be worth noting that Eridan volunteered to model again the following week.


	12. Breakfast with Gossips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feferi, Gamzee, and John are meeting for breakfast, and their weekly gab-fest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haven't done anything with Feferi yet. This must be remedied.
> 
> Also, a gossip circle seemed a good place to air out some of my headcanons, like Gamzee liking yurts, Bro being a literature junkie, and the whole deal with horns.

If one could say nothing else for Feferi Peixes, one would have to say that she was the best comfort a body could ask for. Everything about her was soothing; she had a hearty laugh, a sympathetic ear, and a big sharp smile for everyone. She was the sort of troll a person could lose themselves in, and feel comfortable dropping their pretenses and their masks, and just be themselves around. She had a hug always ready to deploy, she could find time to listen to anyone who needed her, and she knew just how to make a person feel comfortable and content. Feferi was a cuddle made flesh, and everything about her—save her pointy teeth, her razor wit, and her sharp tongue—was soft and round.

“Curvy” would not be an adequate word. Feferi was squishy. She was soft and pliant, round and ripe, a picture of abundance and plenty. Perhaps this made for a stark contrast to her matesprit Sollux, a lean man, made all of points and jutting angles, but even on her own, there was no denying her voluptuous form. From her hips to her cheeks to her hair, everything about her had a richness to it, as round as the smile on her plump lips, and as lovely as the sparkle in her wide eyes. Her lovers found it as easy to get lost between her breasts as they could between her thighs; every part of her was soft and enveloping and accepting.

For all of her softness, Feferi was not weak. Her gentle smile and fleshy figure concealed strong, quick muscles, forged from all her years of swimming and dancing and martial arts. She would often spar with some of the other players, and while she could not match the speed of Dave or Gamzee, nor the strength of Equius or Tavros, she could generally hold her own in hand-to-hand combat against the average troll. Since her resurrection, she had taken great pains to learn to defend both herself and others by nonlethal means. Neither was she weak-willed; though easy-going in most affairs, she had an iron resolve within her on matters she felt most important. She had a quick wit, a natural curiosity, charm, and unfailing intuition. Her tongue could be sharp, at times, and she would mock and tease as often as anyone, but it was always with love, never with malice.

Anyone, friend or lover, could find comfort in the Tyrian-blood. It was a common enough sight, in the studio, to find Feferi conducting a feelings jam in Kanaya’s impressively-large scrap cloth pile, or in the beanbag pile in the recreation room, or occasionally even in the horn pile in the music room. Even without a proper pile, Feferi would gladly stop whatever she might be doing to comfort one of her beloved housemates who might need her. With finely-honed senses and her peerless intuition, she could cut to the quick of the matter, and determine whether her friend might need advice, or sympathy, or merely a listening ear and a hug. Thus it was that she was, again, ideally suited to her partner Sollux, who, more often than not, would be troubled by things even he could not identify.

However, Feferi Peixes was a wretched gossip; perhaps even worse than Gamzee, though John was something of the gossip king. The sight of the three of them, giggling and snickering amongst themselves, would be enough to raise the hairs on the back of anyone’s neck. On the other hand, however, those three also always had the inside information on anyone within their circle. Whether one was looking to find what so-and-so wanted for their birthday, or why this one was mad at that one, one need only speak with one of the gossip mavens to find out.

***

“I think they’ll be good for each other! She seems so much happier now, so I guess things must be going well?” John beamed, as he smeared cream cheese on his bagel. It was a bright Friday morning, and the three were indulging in their weekly ritual gab meeting.

“I shore hope so! I mean, I think they are; Eridan has been pleased as perch since they got together, I reelly hope this works out!” giggled Feferi, pouring herself a cup of strong coffee.

“Ain’t it just a motherfuckin’ miracle? Fishbro been all sortsa grinnin’ up in here, an’ fuck if Li’l Kitten ain’t got a smile wrappin’ around her ears an’ back again,” smiled Gamzee, reaching for the tub of whitefish. “Hey, speakin’ of, how’s tricks with you an’ ol’ Double-Vision?”

Feferi sighed. “Not…bad, exactly, but it’s been so hard to get time alone with him, you know? Not that I mind pairing up for Sollux, but it’d be nice sometimes…It’s fun being with him and someone else, and I love watching him get into it, but I miss being his sole girl now and then.”

“Fuck, Feffy, I can’t imagine Two-Tone would up an’ want you feelin’ all like that. You gots to tell him what’s what. It ain’t like you ain’t been givin’ an’ game for all his particular tastes, so a li’l reciprocity can’t be all up an’ outta the question.”

“I know, I just feel shellfish, but it’s a tench situation…I mean, it’s not like I don’t want him to be happy…I don’t just want to be an old hagfish.”

“Nobody thinks that, Feferi!” said John, sympathetically.

“…It’s just hard, you know?” she continued. “He’s starting to make moves on Dave in the music room, and the way he acts…it’s just like how he used to with me…it gets hard to watch. It’s hard to tuna it out when it’s in your face all the time. And he’s been spending an awful lot of time with Jade in the lab, too, when he isn’t even working on anyfin, and he gets all yellowfin-cheeked around her now.”

“You figure Solly’s aimin’ to snatch hisself some more bedbuddies, sis?”

“It’d surprise me, I figured he wouldn’t want more than two of anything,” said John.

“Yeah, but Yellowbro might be lookin’ for another realm altogether, Breezebro. Put your think pan on it a sec: two lovely lady matesprits, two male-type kismeses…”

“Actually, I don’t really think Karkat is much of a kismesis, they’re pretty red most of the time.”

“Yeah, that’s fuckin’ plain as day, but listen, they keep callin’ it black cuz’ that what all makes the motherfuckin’ duality miracles happen. Like how he gots two sea-trolls an' two land-trolls visitin' 'twixt his sheets. Anyway, my point is this: Bicolorbro might be seekin’ after two pet human motherfuckers for plain ol’ playtime. It all fits in what with his whole symmetry kink.”

“Yeah, but…look, I know I can’t be jealous or anyfin like that, but Sollux is my main matesprit! I like playing with Aradia, or with Karcrab, and I know I already have lots of fun with Jade, plus I think I could have fun playing with Dave too if they wanted…but I’m scared I’ll just be part of a grouper to my sweet Sollux,” Feferi worried, staring into her coffee, as if she hoped to read answers in the steam.

Gamzee laid a hand over hers, smiling gently. “Feffy-sis, ain’t no motherfucker ever gonna be able to replace you, never fuckin’ ever, so you put that right outta your brainspace this minute. Sollux is one lucky-ass motherfucker to have you, an’ all his other squeezes too, but that don’t mean for one motherfuckin’ second he gets to take you for granted. You gots to all up an’ remind him that you got needs too, an’ I’m certain as certain gets that he’s gonna understand and up an’ make it all right. He’s a quality motherfucker, you guys are gonna be fine.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I just needed to vent a little, sorry for carping so much. It’s just kind of a hard plaice to be in, you know? But I don’t want you thinking eel of him! We’re still mostly happy together.”

“I don’t think it’ll be too hard for Sollux to get with Dave, though…Jade’s mentioned he’s been making the rounds a lot, and he really likes Sollux anyway,” mused John, “But I also know that if you have a problem with it, Dave’ll back off. And I know Jade won’t do anything to make you uncomfortable.”

“Oh, I know, they’re both reel sweeties like that,” Feferi giggled, “buuut…as bad as this sounds, I kind of don’t want to share Jade with Sollux either, I wanna keep all her snugglyness to myself! Not that I wanna keep her from her other partners or anyfin, but when we’re together, it’s nice just being the two of us, you know? Just knowing it’s all because of me when she goes all squirmy, especially after I start lick—“

“Aaaaaaaand that is way more than I need to know about my sister’s sex life, Feferi,” interrupted John. Feferi snickered and stuck out her tongue, and John rolled his eyes.

“Speakin’ on a topic we can all apparently up an’ relate with, I seen you spendin’ a pretty span here an’ there with my hatemate, Windybro. How all is that workin’ out? Still all up an’ bein’ a miraculous red?”

“Yeah, Dave and me are plenty red, Gamz, but that reminds me…okay, see, you didn’t hear this from me; you didn’t hear this at all, okay? But I think he mentioned he had plans tonight. Sexy plans.”

“No shit? Well, don’t leave a motherfucker hangin’, bro! Spill them beans where I can see ‘em!”

John leaned in close, whispering conspiratorially, despite there being no one else in the mess hall, “He said, since Jade and Karkat are going out tonight, that he was going to get Tavros and see if you were up for three-party shenanigans. Wink wink.”

“Motherfuck! Who went an’ made it Christmas? Tell me, how’s the weather lookin’ tonight, my main weathervane?”

“Um, warm and clear, with some cloud cover to the east, but otherwise a pretty good view of the stars. Why?”

“If either one of those motherfuckers gets to askin’, I’ll be all spendin’ the night in the yurt,” Gamzee grinned. He had recently purchased plans and materials for a spacious yurt, which he and Equius assembled on the beach. Not only would this afford him a place of solitude where he could fall asleep to the lullaby of the ocean, but it saved other housemates from hearing any horns he might accidentally tread on at night. Gamzee did not plan to sleep in the yurt all of the time, and certainly not in cold weather, but on warm summer evenings it would be quite pleasant indeed. “Once I get them boys stripped down right proper, I mean to be raisin’ a righteous raucous, an’ I don’t wanna be all fuckin’ up everybody’s shuteye.”

“And we all appreciate that, Gamzee. Hey, Feferi? Crazy thought, you know how you got upset about Sollux’s threesomes? I’m just wondering…who are they for? I mean, you do them because Sollux wants them. Maybe if they were for you, you’d enjoy them more.”

“It’s not as if I dislike playing with others…”

“I know, but you sound like you’re losing interest. I’m guessing Sollux always chooses who’s involved, right? Maybe if you choose who you want, instead, you’ll get back into enjoying them more. It just seems like a bad thing if you get tired doing something you used to like. Hehe, maybe you can mullet over a while?” he winked.

“Wise words, my brother…an’ havin’ the choice in it makes for some empowerin’ shit, you know? Plus it’s really fuckin’ hot to be all havin’ a partner what knows what it all is that they want. Shit, now that I thinks on it, if he’s after Sunglasses an’ Lady Jade, maybe he does all got a thing for motherfuckers that know what they’s after.”

“Can’t imagine that’s much of a problem for you, John,” grinned Feferi. “Between Vriska, Karcrab, and Dave, you probably have everyone telling you what they want from you.”

“You’d be surprised, Karkat can be really shy sometimes! It’s adorable, heehee, but yeah, Vriska is always really up-front about what she wants and what she can give, and Dave, like, almost always takes the lead.”

“Shit if that ain’t a truth, makes a body wonder what it’d take to get him whimperin’ an’ whinin’,” Gamzee pondered, a far-off look in his eye. “Bet he’d beg real pretty. Aw yeah…”

“Hot as that would undoubtedly be, it’s hard to imagine Mr. Coolguy being anything but cool. If you find a way, though, let me know!” laughed John.

“Oooh, let minnow about it, too! I bet Jade would love to hear about it, but we all know John would never tell her,” snickered Feferi.

“Interfering with my sister’s sex life? Ew, bluh. No thanks.”

“Be fair, it’s not like you don’t share two guys with her already. I mean, Karcrab is mostly yours, and Dave is mostly hers, but still!”

“I prefer not to think about that…” sighed John.

“Motherfucker does get around, though…not only has he got Jade an’ Tav an’ me, dude got hisself John here an’ Terezi too, plus that li’l patch of hate he got sown in Karkat. That’s nearin’ half of us…if he gets it goin’ with Sollux, then fuck…maybe he’ll get goin’ on with you, Feffy, an’ Aradia an’ Eridan to boot. Shit…”

“What exactly are you trying to say?” asked John, raising a suspicious brow.

“Nobody is immune to the Strider charm, maybe?” replied Feferi, helpfully.

“Brother, I ain’t sayin’ nothin’ but this: where all does he find the motherfuckin’ energy? Bro must got quantum ‘nads or some shit.”

“He’s so very different from Rose, isn’t he?” mused Feferi. “She only has Kanaya, but Dave seems on his way to having everyone else.”

“Vriska says that Kanaya’s got her hands full with Rose anyway, though, so I get the sense Rose is just as active, but she’s got a much tighter focus,” said John.

“Guess that all means you got Lady Blue to yourself, eh Windy?”

“Well, she’s still got her hate going with Terezi, and that seems to be going really well! They’re happy together. Heehee, but yeah, I get her tonight, and I have plans, oh yes!” John snickered, tenting his fingers in what he thought was a villainous mastermind pose, and might have been, had it not been executed by such a beneficent doof.

“So Dave ain’t takin’ up all of Rezzy’s time, either, huh? Like I said, that motherfucker do get around; I guess if everybody gets a turn on that ride, they gonna have a lotta down time between go ‘rounds.”

“Oh, hey, topic change, I know, but I just remembered something I’ve been wondering,” started John, “What is the deal with horns? I figured they were sensitive or something like that, because Karkat makes these really cute purring noises when I rub his horns, but it doesn’t do anything for Vriska. Like, at all. What’s up with that? Or, is this a thing I shouldn’t be asking about?”

“Naw, man, it’s fine.”

“It’s not weird to ask or anyfin, so don’t worry!” Feferi smiled, soothingly, “Horns can be sensitive, or they can not be; it’s like the rest of the scalp. If a troll really likes getting headrubs and scalp massages, then they’re going to like getting their horns rubbed too.”

“Usually it’s them touchy-feely motherfuckers what digs hornrubs the most, though I can’t say I don’t appreciate ‘em myself,” said Gamzee. “Then you gets ‘em like Tavbro, who not only digs up on that feel, but gots a rack on ‘em you can use as handlebars, heh. You best fuckin’ believe that makes for a miraculous matin’ time.”

“I’m guessing you let Dave in on the secret?” John laughed.

“Oh, he an’ that sister o’yours already well knew it full before I got ‘round to tellin’ em,” grinned the troll, as Feferi giggled.

At this time the mess hall doors swung open, and Bro entered, nose buried in a book. The gossip club members sang out greetings, and the older man looked up and sauntered over.

“Hey kiddos, what trouble are you all making today?” he asked, helping himself to a cinnamon raisin bagel and peanut butter.

“Just badmouthing your brother,” John snickered. “What’re you reading?”

Bro shrugged, “Translation of the Ramayana. I finished the Mahabharata the other day, and felt like staying on a theme. What’s this about my little bro?”

“We weren’t reelly saying anything bad! We just noticed, well, he shore does get around, doesn’t he? Oh, but we aren’t saying that’s a bad thing, just…a thing. That we noticed.” Feferi explained, apologetically.

“Can’t say I’m terribly surprised, the kid’s got Strider stamina, and none of his sister’s subtlety,” smirked Bro.

Gamzee meanwhile had begun to thumb through Bro’s book. “Hey bro, this shit been worth readin’?”

“Yeah, I’d say I’ve been enjoying it; I’ll lend it when I’m done. Might try the Upanishads next…I mean, it was either this, or re-read the Three Musketeers and all of the associated works, and I can only take so much Alexandre Dumas before I start trying to gouge my eyes out with a spork.”

“You could just read the books you want to read, you know.”

“Nah, Fef; we Striders? Once we start something, that thing gets seen through to the bitter, screaming, spork-laden end. That reminds me, though…keep an eye out, I’ve got another book delivery coming sometime this week, and I’d like to be notified when it arrives."

“I’ll spread the word around. What kind of books this time? And what kind of scale are we talking here?” asked Feferi.

“Not a big order, only about twenty books. First, some programming manuals: the Nakodiles came up with a new programming language recently, and Lalonde and I mean to see what we can do with it. I also ordered some works of fiction, I’m filling out my collection of works by the eighteenth century philosophes, then there’s the two cookbooks Gamzee requested, that manga John asked for, some trashy vampire romance for Kanaya, and a volume for Eridan showing popular poses for artistic models. That boy’s been doing some research, methinks.”

Feferi grinned, “He does seem to be getting into it! I’m so glad he’s having fun!”

“He does seem to have changed. Oh! That reminds me! Saw him in short sleeves the other day,” said John.

“That’s nothing! We were shopping yesterday, and he bought shorts! And a sleeveless shirt! And—you won’t believe this—swim trunks! Talk about coming out of his shell! I’ve never even seen him swim without his wetsuit and flippers, but there he was, buying a bathing suit!” Feferi bubbled.

“Speakin of, sis…now I might be all mistaken on this, but I couldn’ help but notice you didn’ exactly need anythin’ so formal as a suit the other night, now did I?” grinned Gamzee, mischief in his voice.

“Oh! Um. I…didn’t think anybody would see…eek!” Feferi blushed and hid her now-pink face in her hands, while Gamzee laughed and the two humans cocked their eyebrows.

“Princess went skinny-dipping?” chuckled Bro.

“It—it was just something I wanted to try, I didn’t think anybody would sea me! Um, Jade had said she used to bathe in the ocean a lot when she was just a little fry on her island, and I realized that I haven’t gone done any au naturel swimming since I was just a tiny sprat, so I wanted to try it and sea if it was as great as I remembered, so I waited until it was reelly late and there wasn’t anybody around and everyone was off the beach, but I guess there still was someone there…oooh! Cod, just krill me now!” she whined into her hands.

“Shit, there ain’t a fuckin’ whit wrong with that! I was all out in front of the yurt at the time, I just happened t’notice you were gettin’ your free an’ easy swim on. Fuck, I woulda joined you, but I didn’ want you bein’ all self-conscious. I’m out there mother-naked a lotta nights anyway.”

John choked on a bite of bagel. “You too, Gamzee?”

“Fuck yes. You know how motherfuckin’ cozy it is, gettin’ up in the ocean, the birthplace of life itself, all naked as the day you was spawned? All floatin’ an’ bein’ carried by that miraculous world-womb? That’s how motherfuckers is meant to be, ‘specially when the sun’s makin’ it all roasty-toasty. Why make your coolin’ down have to cross all them fabric layers? Hell, if I had the say in it, I’d declare our beach fuckin’ clothin’ optional all hours, day or night.”

“You know, you could probably get some others on board with that little idea, Makara,” said Bro. “Probably wouldn’t even be a problem, just swim out there whenever, jaybird naked if you want.”

“Why…just…why? Why are you encouraging this?” groaned John.

Bro shrugged. “I’m down with freedom of personal expression, and it isn’t as if this is a public beach anyway. Furthermore, I have exactly zero qualms whatsoever if Rob and Ruby start acting in kind.” John made a gagging noise, and Bro turned to him. “Son, you got real issues with your family having bodies, don’t you?”

“No! Yes! Bluh! It’s just, maybe I don’t want to see Dad or my sister running around naked, okay? And seeing my dad’s girlfriend, or his boyfriend, naked would be strictly regulated to the ‘yeah, this is weird’ category.”

“Bodies don’t always have to be sexual things; any of Nepeta’s artistic co-conspirators can tell you that. Bodies are bodies, and if it gives you some strange joy to be squicked out by that, okay, go ahead and knock yourself out; but otherwise, just let skin be skin.”

“Well maybe I just don’t want to be swimming while everybody’s having sandy beach sex, huh? Is that such an impossible thing to think? I mean, if I have friends over, I might not want to have to explain why my entire household is unf-ing it up right outside the window.” John huffed.

“You might have a point there. Not everyone is gonna want their sandy beach sex watched, either, regardless of how they feel about swimming nude,” admitted Bro.

“We could have a compromise! Maybe we should make a rule that nobody boinks on most of the beach, but that side past the big rock pile shell be designated the anyfin-goes zone. That’s where the tall grass is, and there are lots of big rocks, so there should be enough cover to satisfy privacy needs,” Feferi offered.

“Sounds like a motherfuckin’ plan, bros,” said Gamzee, standing and gathering his dishes. “It’s your turn to mind this cleanin’ up, Windy, so I’m gonna go an’ get some motherfuckin’ tan where I ain’t been tanned yet.”

“Gamzee, noooooooo…we didn’t vote on having a nude beach! You can’t just go out jaybirding it!” whined John.

“I never said nude, I said ‘clothing optional.’ If you wanna wear shorts or tighty-suit or a motherfuckin’ parka, then that’s your motherfuckin’ option,” Gamzee grinned, downing the last of his juice. “How ‘bout you, Fishysis? Care to join in some stark revelry?”

Feferi smiled, taking two bagel-halves. “Not right now, I think I want to fish out Sollux first, then…maybe. Not yes or no, but maybe. Okay?”

Gamzee nodded and wished her luck before leaving, John ran off to talk him out of it, and Feferi set to making a plate. Feferi spread one plain bagel-half with butter. She then topped a half of an everything bagel with vegetable cream cheese, whitefish, lox, lettuce, tomato, onion, and cheese, and put both bagel-halves in a domed serving tray, before leaving the mess hall.


	13. Communication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feferi finds Sollux, and means to work on their relationship.

Sollux woke to a knocking at his door. Yawning and scratching, he untangled himself from Aradia and dragged himself into a sitting position. Briefly he wondered where Eridan had gone, but the sound of the running shower registered in his sleepy mind, and he considered his question answered. He ran his tongue over the empty spaces where his recently-removed fangs normally were, and stretched. Another knock brought him further into the waking world. He pulled some shorts on, stretched and yawned again, and answered the door to find his other aquatic matesprit smiling up at him, serving tray in hand.

“Morning, sleepyhead!” she smiled.

“Morning, beautiful,” he replied, leaning down for a quick peck.

“I brought you some breakfast, I figured you’d be hungry,” she said, pushing the tray into his hands.

He lifted the lid, finding two polar-opposite bagel-halves. “Aw, man, my favorite…you’re the best, FF! C’mon in.”

Feferi hesitated, as Sollux chewed a mouthful of bagel. “Sollux, I think I need to talk to you…are you alone in there?”

“No…ED’s in the shower, and AA’s still asleep. Why? What’s wrong?”

Feferi averted her eyes. “Do you think we could talk in my room? Or somewhere else private?”

“…Sure thing, just a sec.” Sollux knocked on the bathroom door, “ED, I gotta go talk with FF a while, okay?”

Eridan turned off the shower and peeked out of the bathroom, squinting without his glasses. “Everything okay, Fef?”

“Yeah, but let Aradia know I’m stealing Sollux for a little while, okay? Oh, and there’s some more chow in the mess, too; it’s probably in the fridge by now.”

Back in the bed, Aradia made a sleepy grunt, in effort to communicate both that she had heard, and that she intended to sleep longer, before shuffling a pillow over her head and burrowing into the blankets.

“Okay, catch you later.” Eridan said, closing the bathroom door and resuming his shower.

Feferi held onto Sollux’s waist as they walked to her room, he still munching at his bagels, first a bite of one, then a bite of the other. When the door had closed behind them, she sat on the bed, worrying at her nails.

“I…this is hard for me, so…please understand, okay Sollux? I’m even not going to pun. I’ve been…kinda feeling…not neglected, exactly? But I don’t get any alone time with you, and I feel like I need some. I need to feel like there’s still something special with just you and just me. Play-time and otherwise. I’m kind of afraid of becoming an accessory more than a partner, does that make sense?”

Sollux set the tray down on her desk, and sat next to her, snaking his long, thin arms around her. He was silent for a few moments, before asking, “How long have you felt like this?”

“A while now…” she admitted. “I didn’t know how to bring it up…”

“So, you’ve been feeling neglected and alone, while I made you sleep with my other partners and I, for my amusement, which you’ve just been going along with to make me happy...”

“What? No, that’s not what I’m saying at all.”

He did not hear her, but stood up and began to pace, growing more and more agitated. “You’ve just been suffering and hurting…because of me, and the things I make you do…because I’ve been a fucking buffoon, a blind fucking moron, I couldn’t even see…God, I didn’t even think—GOD! And you let me keep doing it! You let me keep hurting you! Me, a worthless little shit, upsetting and hurting my beautiful princess!”

He kicked the bed, swearing and roaring and raging, as the air crackled with red and blue sparks. Though surprised and fearful, Feferi came to her senses and grappled him in an embrace. “Stop that! You’re going to extremes again! Don’t put words in my mouth: I only said I wanted more time alone with you, stupid! I like playing with the others, and I’m sure I’ll like playing with whoever else you bring in in the future, but I still want some you-and-me time!

Sollux screeched once more before he crumpled in her arms, weak and weeping; she slid to the floor with him, holding him to her bosom, caressing his cheeks and his back, with soft, tender shooshpaps. She set his glasses aside, and spoke in a soothing, melodic voice. “Calm down, Sollux, you’re swinging too far again. Come on back to the middle. That’s it…” After far too long, Sollux’s raking sobs and cleavage-muffled screams receded, leaving a broken yellowblood, feeling every bit as weak and empty as his tired, hollow breath.

“Sorry…I just…yeah. Sorry…” he sniffled, his thin frame folded and compressed into a little ball in his moirail-matesprit’s lap.

“Shoosh…it’s okay, just, we’ll talk this over once you come back to center,” she said, softly, rocking him gently.

This would not have been the first time Sollux flipped instantly into being a depressed wreck, nor would it be the last. Feferi had become all too accustomed to dealing with his mood swings. At any time, the wrong word or look could launch him into a miserable fit. Once, someone had complimented Sollux, remarking that he had seemed to put some meat on his bones. His response was to barricade himself in his room for three days, denying entry to all, opening his door only for offerings of celery and hard-boiled egg whites, or to demand that someone bring him more full-length mirrors. When Feferi finally had been able to convince Sollux to let her in, she found the room torn up and in shambles, littered with six legal pads’ worth of paper, written in frenzied, jittery script; he had scrawled lists of every single thing he hated about his looks, his body, and himself. Feferi had made him burn every single scrap of paper; Karkat had made him watch, until the fire died. His manic, feverish state was equally unpleasant, but Feferi was used to dealing with both of Sollux’s extremes, and she knew that he could come back to a comfortable zone as quickly and easily as he could go off the deep, and any time he went too far, she had to hope she could bring him back. What else could she do? Feferi could not count the times she had found herself in a similar position—on the floor, consoling her matesprit, quietly being both physical and emotional support for him—and she frankly would not care to count if she could. She knew fully well that he might spend his entire life, swinging violently across the mood spectrum, without ever any guarantee that he would come back to a happy medium, but that did not matter. Feferi loved Sollux, and that was all she needed to know.

Sollux sniffled and finally pulled himself into a sitting position. Feferi stroked his hand. “You okay now?”

“Yeah…sorry, didn’t mean to go shithive bananas there,” he said, wiping the tears from his eyes. He could not look at her, but stared at the floor. “Still feel like shit for how I treated you, though. I never meant to hurt you, I hope you know that.”

“You didn’t treat me badly, Sollux, and I do enjoy playing with others…but I have needs, and it’s time both of us recognized that; _I_ have to recognize that. I need time with you, and I need reassurance sometimes that I’m not just someone you keep around to complete a set.”

“I never meant to hurt you, Feferi…” he repeated.

“I know, I never thought you did. But it’s going to take both of us to make this right, okay? Will you work with me on this?”

Again he snaked his arm around her, but lacking the energy to squeeze, he simply laid it over her hip. “Anything for my princess. Just tell me what to do.”

She smirked. “Aaaanything?”

He smiled back, leaning into her once more. “Anything. Just as long as it makes you happy.”

She kissed him on the cheek. “Well…sometime after you feel better, I want some alone time with you. It’s been months since we made love, just the two of us, and I’d like to. Not just once, either, but make it a common-ish thing for us again, you know? But not until you’re ready.”

Sollux smiled and agreed, then hesitated. “I, uh, I just want to be clear here. I don’t want to drag you into more three-ways, if you don’t want to, but…”

“Shoosh,” she said, grinning. “Weren’t you listening, dummy? I like them, but I want variety, too. As long as we’re on the subject, though, I think I’d like to try being in the middle sometimes.”

Sollux nuzzled between her breasts. “I am totally cool with that,” was his muffled reply.

“And whenever someone gets painted with honey, you wash the sheets immediately afterwards. Attracting ants is not sexy.”

“Of course, no problem” Sollux muttered into Feferi’s bosom, his hands sneaking down the back of her skirt, kneading her ample rump.

Feferi chuckled. This would not be the first time Sollux’s mood swings resolved into unrepentant horniness, either, and she had long since given up worrying about it.

“And I think you need a sexy maid dress.”

Sollux’s head snapped up, his horns getting caught in her necklace, and she giggled. “I wanted to see if you were listening. Heehee! You should see your face!”

Sollux grinned, resuming his fondling and waggling his eyebrows. “I dunno, FF, I could rock some flirty lace. I’m completely without an ass, though, so we’re gonna need some petticoats. I could talk to KN, I could make this happen.”

Feferi giggled and bumped her nose against Sollux’s. “I was joking, silly, and your butt is fine. Though…hmmm, a sultry little fashion show just for me? That could be kind of sexy. I think I’d have to see it, now.”

“Oh, not just a fashion show,” he purred in her ear, his hands still kneading away at her fleshy hips, inching towards her rump cheeks, “maybe I’ll be your little maid, princess. Maybe I’ll bring you breakfast in bed, how about that? Maybe I’ll wait on you, hand and foot, in my frilly little skirt, feeding you grapes, and you can spank me if I misbehave.”

Feferi grinned and licked the pointed crest of his ear. “And will there be gratuitous panty shots?”

“Only the most gratuitous,” he replied, slipping his hands up under her shirt and unhooking her bra.

“And if I preferred no panties?”

“Ehehehe, naughty. I like it.” Sollux slipped her top and bra from her, toying one nipple with his thumb, the other with his tongue.

Feferi squirmed a little. “Mmm, I’m guessing you’re feeling a little closer to okay, then…” she mused, rubbing between Sollux’s right horns. He did not answer her with words, but suckled her breast, putting his hands to work pulling her skirt and panties from her, before pulling away to strip himself of his shorts, as she continued. “You sure seem to like the idea of some costume play, too…maybe we should get Kanaya to make two little maid dresses, hmm? One for you, and one for me, and maybe I’ll get a little feather-duster, and when I’m the maid I’ll rub your shoulders and bring you tea and lick your toes, hmm? Like the sound of that? Mmm, or maybe another playmate of ours could even get a pair of sexy maids, and they can spank us both if they want.”

Sollux stopped and nuzzled Feferi’s breast. “FF, thanks…thanks for understanding and not being mad or anything. I know I ask a lot of you, and…yeah…”

“Shoosh, I know. I love you, Sollux, but I thought we were in sexy-talk time?”

“Ehehehe, sorry FF, can you ever forgive me?” he said, licking a wet path up to her neck. “You talk, I think I wanna get busy here.”

The seadweller purred happily. “Mmm, okay…you do like it when I talk, don’t you? It really turns you on, doesn’t it? Good, because, in case you didn’t know this, you’re really hot when you get worked up. So hot, I just want to pin you down and do such things to you that you can’t see straight. Maybe lick your bulge like a popsicle, until I can get at your sweet honey, and then lap it all up. Maybe then ride your face until you think your tongue can’t take any more…”

Sollux shuddered, grinding his hips into her thigh, as she stroked one of his horns with one hand, and his back with the other. She pushed him onto his back, flat against the carpet. Yes, there was a perfectly good bed right there, but right now? The floor was just fine, rugburns be damned. She grinned, and scooted over his hips, slipping his bulge into her, palming her own stiff bulge lightly as she slowly began to ride him. “Oooh, you like that idea, don’t you? Get your tongue deep in me until I go off and get my pink all in your hair? Then maybe I’ll just keep you working on my boobs while I play with your bulge, until I can go again, and I’ll stuff your nook so nice you’ll give me more of that sweet honey to eat, hmmm?”

“Cod, FF, you’re so corny, with all that ‘sweet honey’ shit,” he moaned, “call it what it is. I wanna hear you use dirty words.”

“Shhh…Sexytime is not pun time, Sollux. But it is really sweet, and so very tasty…and so, so fun to get!” she purred. She was met by her lover quirking an eyebrow, and she rolled her eyes. “Fine, whatever. Come. Ejaculate. Genetic material. Semen…you’re really getting off on this, huh?” she grinned, her matesprit now panting as he thrusted up into her. She continued, bouncing her hips with every word. “Squirt. Bone-bulge-bile. Mmm, yeah…sticky-sweetness. Faintyellow funjuice. Genetic sac splatter. Pleasure drip. Sollux delight. Matesprit marmalade. Ahhhhh…yes! Just like that! Just! Like! That!” She leaned back, one hand gripping the bed for support, the other cupping her breast, Sollux taking over the job of tending her bulge with his own hands. Sollux bucked up into her, as she pumped her hips to match him.

“Fuck, Feferi!” he yowled, thrusting and thrashing desperately, one hand digging into the carpet beneath him, the other diligently pumping his lover’s shaft. He loved the feel of her from the inside, tense and slick and tight against his bulge, and the pap pap pap of her soft bottom bouncing against his thighs, her trailing hair brushing over his knees and shins, and her big, soft breasts bouncing and bouncing, and just when Sollux thought he could take no more, she shot a hot pink load across his belly, her nook squeezing him from the inside, and he lost it. His world went fuzzy, full of nothing but his heartbeat thundering in his ears and the smell and feel of Feferi.

The sea-troll shifted to lay beside her partner, his member slipping out of her, and the two kissed and toyed with each other’s hair and horns. Feferi muttered affections, until Sollux began to chuckle.

“Hmm?”

“Seriously, FF? ‘Matesprit marmalade?’ Are you even for real?”

Feferi went pink-cheeked and Sollux cackled. “Shut up! I was running out of ideas!” she wailed, smacking him lightly on the cheek, before beginning to laugh, herself.

***

“You want to commission _what?_ ” asked Kanaya.

“Two sexy maid costumes, one to fit me and one to fit Sollux, and a sexy cop for him, a sexy nurse for me, and two sexy bees. Can you do it?” beamed Feferi.

“Well, I suppose…I mean, I am certain that I could manage such a thing, though it might take the better part of the month to get all of these completed, what with my other projects; I might be able to get the first two done within the week, however…depending on the complexity of the design of course. I should be able to get the plans drafted for your approval by this evening…but--”

Kanaya was interrupted by a hug of immense softness, and one-sided awkwardness on the greenblood’s part. “I knew I could count on you! Heehee! You’re the best ever!”

Feferi released her grip and drifted gleefully out of the studio, humming along the way. Kanaya was left only to shake her head and chuckle, before taking inventory of her satin, lace, and leather reserves.


	14. A Couple of Days at the Beach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beach is declared clothing-optional, an opportunity for awkwardness or freedom or anything between.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hadn't planned for this chapter to go this long, but I wanted to cover a bunch of stuff at once. I hope it's still fun to read, even if it covers a lot of ground.
> 
> Let me know what you think, especially if it can help me write better!

“Geez Louise,” said John, “there’s a bunch of naked people on this beach.”

John hadn’t been completely on-board with the idea of making the beach clothing-optional, but now that it happened anyway, he would have to admit, this wasn’t as bad as he expected. He was pretty grossed out when he first saw Jade swimming topless, but that was quickly regulated to the back burner at the exact moment he saw Dave wearing nothing but a waterproof unicorn-shaped sticker on one butt-cheek, in order to tan an ironic outline in place.

This day was gorgeous, the air was hot and muggy, but the ocean was perfect. There was less nudity than John had expected earlier—he had worried his entire household would be completely bare and, worse, randy, and being around all of his friends while they got it on would get soooooooo weird—but he still felt a little awkward; while there was less indecent skin being flashed among his other housemates on the beach than he had forecasted, the day had found John in an unexpected nude front. So there he was, stark as day, lounging on a beach blanket with Vriska by his side, his shame covered only by an otherwise uninteresting newspaper.

The Heir—eager enough to avoid the sight of Madame Lalonde dragging his father towards the grassy reaches at the far end of the beach—thought back on how he had found himself in this situation.

***

 

The beach had been declared clothing-optional by popular vote the previous day, by parliamentary process among the players and guardians. John had convinced Gamzee not to swim or sunbathe nude until the whole house could get together and decide; and so it was that, two days later, when all of the current residents were available, a meeting was called together. Gamzee suggested the motion; Feferi seconded it, Jade thirded, and Karkat frothed at the mouth.

“I’m not hearing this, I’m not hearing this, I’m not fucking hearing this complete and utter fucking horseshit. This is all some fever dream and any minute now I will wake up from this new fresh hell to my usual hell. Terezi, I order you to wake me up, and fuck you right in the face with hot irons if you do not, because _clearly_ I must be thrashing in my sleep from this wretched shitty nightmare; I don’t care if you need your beauty sleep because this is an emergency and _how the fuck can you sleep_ anyway when I must be flailing around like a fucking _congress_ of seizure-ridden baboons from this Freudian horror. Gamzee, why in the fucketty fuck would you even suggest such a thing? No, stop that, fuck you and your incessant shooshpaps, I am completely within my rights to call you out on the bullshit you are attempting to pitchfork into our lives,” he shouted, smacking Gamzee’s hand away as the taller troll tried to comfort him.

“Shit, palebro, you gots to get your chill on,” the indigoblood shrugged. “We can’t all be decidin’ yes or no if nobody ever up an’ makes a suggestion to be motherfuckin’ decidin’ on, right? ‘Sides, some of us been all doin’ that au naturel thing at night anyway—not that I’m meanin’ to go an’ name names o’course—this all be more about givin’ fair warning an’ seein’ if sunlit skin-flashin’ could be a thing we all up an’ allow too.”

“I must say that I am not in favor of turning this otherwise pristine beach into some manner of hedonistic haven,” said Rose, “and I must outright veto any notion that would force any of our number out of our comfort zone, as not all of us have any particular wish to be exposed so.”

“Nobody’s gonna be all forced to be makin’ with the nakeys; an’ I’m proposin’ a compromise for any other concerns.” Gamzee swept his hands across a map of the beach, roughly drawn in crayon, and beamed proudly. “Now, in case anybody gets randy for some righteous rockin’ with--or without--the presence of some unmitigated flesh, I’m thinkin’ that the unobstructed part of the beach be all no-nookie zone, an’ if somebody wants to be gettin’ their motherfuckin’ freak on, they best be doin’ it either on the grassy quarter here, beyond the rocks an’ outta view, or somewhere maybe in the forest there, down past the treeline, if a little woodsy wing-ding is more fittin’ the mood, or if they mean to be gettin’ extra vocal.”

“Hm. That does seem like an acceptable compromise,” mused the blonde maiden, as a few trolls murmured and nodded.

“Ah me, but I just drafted some lovely new swimsuits! To say naught of the new sarongs I have been dying…” pouted Kanaya.

Rose smiled indulgently and patted her betrothed’s hand. “I will wear them, regardless, my dear.”

“How about this, Karcrab,” offered Feferi, “we could try an o-fish-al test run, and if at the end of a week or tuna, someone is still reelly uncomfortable, then we’ll go back to old policy and we’ll all have learned a good morayl from all of this.”

Karkat shook his head. “Fuck this…Sollux, talk some sense into your matesprit, before all my fucking sense realizes itself to be a goddamned endangered resource and makes a run for its own safety, leaving me behind, bereft and drooling, a bare shell of the former leader I once was. You can’t possibly support this, can you?”

Sollux quirked an eyebrow, sitting between Aradia and Feferi, each arm draped over a matesprit’s shoulder. “Fuck yeah, KK. I’m for the idea.”

“What??” Karkat exclaimed, twitching. “Fine. Then maybe you can explain why, why in the name of any all-encompassing frog that has been or will ever be, why the fuck this is a thing that should be allowed ever?”

Sollux grinned, gesturing with both hands to his matesprits’ bosoms. “Because boobs.”

Although Feferi giggled, Aradia looked at the yellowblood skeptically. She was flanked on the other side by Equius, who was sitting ramrod straight, his mind having shorted out, unable for the moment to say anything more than an embarrassed murmur.

“I never agreed that I’d go nude, Sollux,” said Aradia.

For a split second, Equius looked as disappointed as Sollux, before he regained his composure and cleared his throat. “Hrm. Yes. It would be inappropriate to make any such assumptions as to who might or might not have interest in engaging in this lewd and ludicrous venture."

“Devil’s advocate here, though,” chimed in Jade, “We could also see this all as being a matter of rights. What right do any of us have to say who can and can’t go naked? But, I guess, what right do any of us have to say who has to see it? So I guess I can kinda see both sides, but I’m in favor of trying out Feferi’s idea of a trial run, and everyone can wear whatever they’re comfortable with.”

“…Et tu, Harley?” groaned Karkat, as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Shut your gripehole, fuckass. If you or anyone else is super-uncomfortable with it, I’ll drop the matter, but I don’t see it as a big deal!”

“Yeah, but you model all the time for Nepeta’s art club, Jade!” John protested. “Normal people don’t do that, and normal people wear stuff.”

Jade narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean by THAT, exactly?”

“If I may?” interrupted Tavros, pulling Jade back into her seat, “There’s really no reason for anyone to get mad, or start saying things that we will all regret saying, or hearing, so maybe we should just get back to the matter at hand? Peacefully?”

“But he called me out! He said I wasn’t normal! He flies and controls the weather!” she glared, pointing at her ectotwin.

“I know, Jade, honey, but you can fly too, and I can move the breeze, a little, also. We’re all friends here, right? We can handle this, as friends, without hurting each other’s feelings, or taking things too personally.”

“Thank you, Tavros. Someone finally fucking gets that we have a topic to discuss that needs some fucking resolving. So…I guess we’re still debating this apeshit notion, fine. Old guys,” Karkat waved to the three present guardians, “what’s your take on this insanity?”

Mr. Egbert, red-faced, hesitated. “Er, proud as I am to see the household managing such a tricky and controversial issue in a democratic and egalitarian manner, I will point out that none of us has the authority to speak for Mother or Mr. Harley while they are away."

“The floor recognizes the observations, and the obfuscating levels of dad-pride, from Captain Obvious,” said Karkat.

“I can be cool with this,” smirked Madame Lalonde, simply, leaning against Bro, her feet propped on Mr. Egbert’s lap.

“Freedom of expression, babies; I vote yea on the proposition” said Bro, shrugging.

“I suppose I will side with my partners, then?” said Dad, “Life, er…life is full of new challenges and opportunities, and one supposes that it is a sign of building character to see how one handles them. We cannot grow as people until we are met with new things, after all.”

“Put him down for the trial run,” said Madame Lalonde, helping herself to a swig from her hip flask, before Bro took it from her. She unleashed her most fearsome scowl in response.

“Put that pout away, Lalonde, you can wet your throat again when business is concluded.”

She blew a raspberry at him, and he gave her a wet willie.

“If you’re going to act like wigglers, we’re striking your votes from the record,” barked Karkat. “Does anyone else have any thoughts to share on this madness?”

Eridan looked down to Nepeta, who was shyly curled up beside him. “Water you thinkin’, Nep?”

“I think I’d prefur to wear something, fur now at least, but I don’t have a purroblem with the pawsibility…so…trial run?”

“Yeah, okay, I’m with her,” said the seadweller.

 

“Why am I not fucking surprised.” Karkat shook his head and started shouting at Gamzee again for his insufferable imbecility, the room filled with murmurs and quiet debate.

Eridan leaned to his recently-declared matesprit. “I hope you won’t find yourself losin’ interest in me once you see all a them other, better bodies to draw,” he said, nuzzling her temple.

“No way!” Nepeta protested, quietly, her cheeks burning green. “My matespritship is fur you, I just…don’t want anyone to see me until you do, and I’m not quite sure I’m ready fur that just yet…”

“Oh my sweet Jegus! You guys haven’t done it yet?” squealed Terezi, her wicked delight loud enough for everyone to hear. Side conversations were dropped, and even Karkat ceased ranting to look over. Nepeta squeaked and hid under the table, and Eridan was furious.

“Not that it’s any of your fuckin’ business, Ter, but we was takin’ our time an’ enjoyin’ the ride, okay, an’ it ain’t fuckin’ funny, it’s romantic is what it is.”

“You’re such a pussy,” hissed Vriska, rolling her eyes, and Terezi cackled even louder. Eridan shot the spidertroll a dirty look, and tried to coax Nepeta back into her chair.

“Awww! I think it’s sweet!” said Jade.

“I think it’s cool we still have a virgin around,” said Dave, “you know, in case we get any angry volcano gods that need sacrific—OW!” Dave had dodged both Eridan’s swipe at his face and the plastic bottle Equius threw at his head, but had not expected Nepeta’s punch to the ribs.

“Hmph! Jerkface,” she said, getting back in her seat.

“You know you love me. Nice jab, though,” Dave admitted, rubbing his side.

“Okay, since we are clearly sprouting more tangents than a mathematician’s wet dream, can we just come to a fucking decision, and have this nightmare over and done with? Please? Before I retch my entire gastrointestinal tract out the window and climb down to safety?”

 

“Karkat, we’re on the first floor…” reminded John.

“Not the point, numbnuts.”

Gamzee waved for everyone’s attention. “Let’s get this all up an’ settled, then. Anybody gots a serious objection to makin’ this beach optional? Raise up your hand now, an’ we’ll deal with the minor objections in a motherfuckin’ sec, okay?” No hands were raised. “Okay, so we all jus’ gots to hammer out them petty details, an’ we’ll give this shit a shot.”

Karkat growled. “Fine. Everyone who still has something to address, stick around. Everyone else, consider yourselves dismissed and get the fuck out of my sight; and a final ‘fuck you’ to the lot of you, because I’m going to have to start drinking after this.”

***

Jade and Feferi were the first two to hit the beach in the nude, perhaps only because Gamzee remained inside with many of the others, addressing concerns and deliberately not hearing Karkat’s repeated orders either to explain himself or to go fuck himself, or both at once. Both of the girls had run to the laundry to fetch towels and raced down to the beach to strip down. Terezi followed shortly after, having gone to her room to change into the bottom half of a bikini, then stopped back in the mess hall to wave at the last few stragglers.

“Quick, guys, before the novelty wears off!” she laughed.

“Oh my fucking god Terezi, you put those tits away this instant!” hollered Karkat, completely ignored, as she skipped away.

“This is going to have some interesting implications,” said Dave, as he leaned against the door, watching her go. “Hey Tav, you wanna go take in the sights?”

“Um, I think…I think I will go change into my swimsuit first. I think that would be the wisest, if I am going to swim or anything like that, which I would like to do,” said Tavros, nervously.

 

“Oh? Not gonna let it all hang out?”

“Dave, you don’t understand!” he pleaded, “Two of my matesprits have just stated their intention to skinny-dip, and one of them might be doing so already. I think that, at least for today, I will need as much cover as I can get.”

“Heh, I see your point; but I suppose getting your point seen is what you’re trying to avoid. Fine, let’s go change and hit the sand.” Dave clapped his partner on the shoulder, and both left the mess hall to change.

In time, most of the household had found their way to the beach. It was not unusual for a few of them to be on the beach on nice days, but curiosity buzzed through the salty air, despite the fact that most of them wore as much in the way of swimwear as usual.

***

“Sweetheart, you’re staring.”

Equius snapped out of his trance, “Oh! My most heatfelt apologies, my love, I did not mean to.”

“It’s all right, dear,” Aradia comforted, smiling. She was wearing a simple yellow sundress, and he was in a white tee-shirt and blue trunks.

“Whatcha lookin’ at, Equius?” asked Nepeta, who was currently seated next to him in a floral one-piece bathing suit, her legs buried in a pile of sand that Eridan was sculpting into a mermaid tail. She stopped batting at her moirail’s ponytail, which had grown down to his mid-back.

“He’s looking at the naked girls,” chuckled Aradia.

“No fuckin’ way, Mr. That-Is-Lood is checkin’ out the girls? I don’t believe it,” laughed Eridan, turning and brushing some sand from his trunks.

“I am not ‘checking them out,’ seadweller,” protested the blue-faced troll, “I merely have been lost in thought!”

“Heehee! Who are you looking at? Is it Furfurry?”

“No, it…” Equius sighed, “It is not my wish to be improper, I am merely baffled…It is Jade. I have never seen a female human so bare before; her physiology is foreign and strange.”

“How so?” asked Aradia.

“She…she does not have a bulge.”

“Yeah, okay, humans are pretty fuckin’ weird, if you ask me,” shrugged Eridan, “but that’s no reason to be starin’ at a girl.”

“Gaining a taste for something exotic, sweetie?” teased Aradia.

“Not at all! It is just…” started the cobalt-faced troll, “can she…even…I mean, how…does she pee?”

The howling laughter of three trolls pealed across the beach, and after one Pyropian interrogation and one flustered, and blue-faced explanation, Jade ran up to her room to get a bikini bottom, resolving to be at least half-dressed for the rest of the week.

***

Monday brought more housemates to the beach than the day before. Unsurprisingly, Gamzee and Feferi were stark as day, while Jade and Terezi were topless. Both of the brothers Strider were bare as well, Dave attempting to tan a unicorn into his butt, while Bro had put three butterfly stickers on each hip, “because Fluttershy is the shit.”

“Fluttershy’s cool, man, but Pinkie Pie is the motherfuckin’ bitchtits.

“Gamzee, one day, you will run out of stupid, and you will be left with nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

“Who’s your fave, then, Crabbybro?”

“Twilight Sparkle. No contest. She simply is the best,” Karkat stated, matter-of-factly.

“No way! Rainbow Dash, hands down,” said John, strangely less uncomfortable than he had thought he would be. He had promised that he would be open-minded about all the nudity, and he was genuinely trying his best. Even though he was sitting with Dave, Bro, and Gamzee, who, stickers notwithstanding, were all bare as birth, once the initial discomfort had passed, he found that he was talking with them as easily as ever. Karkat still seemed kind of bitey about it all, and had taken longer to get comfortable, but the five of them were now chatting as usual. They were now lounging, the Striders laying face down, around a cooler full of drinks and ice. Gamzee finished his second Faygo and reached for a third.

“Heeeeeeeey guys!” called Vriska, as she sauntered onto the beach. She knelt into the sand by John and kissed him. “What’s going on?”

“Not much,” said John.

“Just hangin’ out,” said Gamzee, chuckling when John made a little “ugh” noise.

“So this is really a thing, huh,” she said, sweeping her eyes across the beach. “I didn’t come out yesterday, because of all the irons in the fire, but maybe I should have.”

“Fine, I’ll bite, what irons, and why were they in the fire?” asked Karkat.

“If you must know, I had a raid. Shut up! I always have raids on Sunday nights!” she scowled, as Karkat snickered. “Anyway, aren’t you two overdressed?” she asked, gesturing to John and Karkat’s swim trunks.

Karkat stopped snickering, and John blustered, both red-faced. “We, uh, just want to wear shorts. But, if we’re overdressed, then you really are!” John stammered, pointing to Vriska’s attire. She was wearing a sporty blue one-piece under a sheer web-patterned cover shirt.

“Oh, I see how it is. Well, John, I’ll make you a deal, I’ll go today, and tomorrow you have to join me.” Before he could protest, she was stripping herself bare. “Nope, it’s a verbal contract now. No backsies.”

“That’s not how verbal contracts work,” hissed Terezi, startling Vriska from behind. “Are you attempting to ensnare poor sweet John with unethical practices?”

“Not likely. I already ensnared him with perfectly ethical seduction, so anything else I do isn’t really further ensnaring, now is it?”

“You guys? That’s not how…anything works. At all. Ever,” stated John, as Terezi helped herself to a cherry cola from the cooler.

“Bah, spoiling my fun with logic and reason. Fiiiiiiiine, I’m gonna go swim or something. Watch my stuff.” Vriska tied back her hair with a blue band and sashayed off, hips swinging. She spied Tavros and Jade playing with a beachball in the ocean. From where they stood, the water came almost to Jade’s armpits, though it came only half-way up Tavros’ chest. She watched the two play for a few minutes, until Bec materialized on the beach and barked at Jade, who ran out to meet him. After a few more yips, the dog and his girl walked in the direction of the lusus barn; Jade waved to Vriska on the way.

After she had gone, Vriska came to the water’s edge. “Hey Taaaaaaaavros!” she called out, one hand on her hip, the other playing with her long hair.

“Oh! Hello!” he called back, smiling, wading slowly back to shore to meet her. “Um, I didn’t think that you would be bathing nude. You look, really nice…”

She stepped lightly through the waves, swaying coquettishly, “Oh, such a gentleman, as always. I’m glad you like what you see, though I’m not really surprised, since I’m soooooooo much hotter than that prudish little girlfriend of yours,” she teased.

“That’s, really not very accurate to say, about her…” he began, stopping, barely rib-deep in the water.

She continued to press on towards him, a smile on her lips, a predator’s stare in her eyes, “The poor thing! Only half undressed, and still running back inside from embarrassment! You need a girl who can make you come out of your shell, who can make you more than you are now, not one who keeps holding you back.”

Tavros laughed, “Wow, no, that is, very possibly, the least accurate thing anyone could say. For one thing, this is around when Bec gets his lunch, so I think that probably, that is what she is doing right now, and will return shortly.”

“Bah, I’m not scared of her.”

“I wasn’t saying you were, or that you should be, for that matter; but as for another thing, she only is wearing anything because so many of us, who are trolls, haven’t seen a naked human female before, and the staring was getting unnerving.”

“Still sounds awfully prudish to me,” she grinned, continuing her approach. “But you need someone to make you strong and confident, and who better than me to do that, hmmmmmmmm?”

She reached Tavros, who smiled bemusedly down at her, and she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him to her, pressing her breasts against his chest, working her hands down and wait, hold on…

“Yeah, you don’t really have to offer that, Vriska,” he chuckled, patting the stunned troll on the shoulder as he slipped out of her grasp. He waded up to the shore, fetching the runaway beachball, the hot sun baking his naked body. Vriska followed him, blustering, and he sat down on a fairy-patterned beach blanket. He patted the space next to him, offering her a seat, but she just stood and gaped.

Tavros sighed. “Vriska, I consider you a very dear friend, okay? And you mean a lot to me, you know? You really do. So, I do not mean for this to sound bad, or hurtful, but, sometimes? I think, that maybe you don’t see me for me. I think that you only see the kid I was, and that, really, you don’t see who I am now. I’m not a kid anymore, though; I’ve grown, just like the rest of us.”

Vriska sank to her knees in the sand, confused and disappointed. “I…guess…”

“Hey, hey, there’s no need to be upset,” he said, scooting over and putting an arm around her shoulder, smiling warmly. “It happens, but we’ve both grown a lot, don’t you think? We both have great friends, and great partners, and great lives. I’ve gotten a lot more confident, and I’m generally happy, and I think that you’ve gotten a lot nicer, and also that you are happier, too. But I’m not past me, any more than you are past you.”

“I never really got the whole ‘past me’ thing,” chimed in Jade, returning. She scooped up the beach ball and tossed it to Eridan, who had been trailing behind her.

“It ain’t that weird,” Eridan explained. “See, declarin’ your current self as bein’ a separate entity from your past self means you’re free t’be somefin else, an’ that means that we ain’t obliged t’be what we once was. It’s freein’, knowin’ that once you realize what a fuckin’ douche you been, you can change it an’ be a proper soul. It’s hopeful, like a kind of rebirth.”

“Huh. Guess that makes a kind of sense,” said Jade.

“Sometimes I make sense. Any a you lot want to play with us?” asked Eridan, throwing a thumb back towards Nepeta, Feferi, and Sollux. “No? Okay,” he said, jogging off to join the others.

“So anyway, are you okay, Vriska?” asked Jade, “You look kinda upset. Oh no! Am I interrupting a feelings jam? I can come back in a bit!”

Vriska mumbled, blue-faced, and Tavros smiled. “No, sweetie, you didn’t interrupt anything. We were just talking about how we’ve all changed over the years.”

Jade smiled, laying down to rest her head on Tavros’s thigh. “I guess we have. Oh, by the way, welcome to the Naked Brigade, Vriska! You look great!”

“Uh, thanks, I guess. I…yeah, I think I’m gonna go find John. Later, losers,” she said, standing up and waving backhandedly as she trudged back.

When she got back up by the cooler, Vriska slumped next to John, defeated and grumbling.

John put a sympathetic arm around his girlfriend, “I’m guessing something didn’t go like you wanted with Tavros, huh?”

“HahaHA! You struck out!” laughed Terezi, who was lounging, using Dave’s back as a pillow.

“She got friend-zoned the shit out of her, I’ll bet money on it,” said Karkat.

“Shut up,” Vriska spat.

John pulled out a bottle of Vriska’s favorite juice, a cranberry blueberry blend, and handed it to her, before pulling her close. “We could kind of see from here. Sorry it didn’t work out…”

“Not that it could have, with him,” muttered Karkat. John shot him a dirty look. “Hey, it’s not like I can’t sympathize with her, but facts are fucking facts. Just drop the pretense that anything can happen with Tavros. That ship sailed long ago, and it sure as fuck isn’t going to come back to port. Just accept that, and things will be easier.”

Dave snorted a little, waking up. “Mmph? What about Tav?” he asked, lifting his head groggily.

“Go back to sleep, Strider,” growled Vriska.

Dave shrugged a little, though not enough to upset Terezi, and laid back down.

Vriska grumbled a little under her breath.

“Hm? I couldn’t hear you”

“I said your sister’s a bitch.”

“What? No way! You take that back!” John scowled.

Gamzee rolled over, scowling, sharp eyes trained on Vriska, and Bro’s eyes may have shifted from his book. Terezi laughed, to the surprise of none.

Karkat bristled, “You mind explaining yourself, Serket?”

“Okay, fuck, I’m awake now,” said Dave, hoisting himself on his elbows, dislodging Terezi. “Up off me, woman.” Dave sat up, brushing the sand off of his shades, “What’s this you got against my matesprit mainstays?”

Terezi howled with laughter, wiping tears away from behind her red lenses. “She tried to make a move on Tavros, and now she stinks of failure! And the stupid thing thinks that badmouthing Tavvy’s girl in front of her friends, partners, and _brother_ is a good idea? Oh, this is _decadent_.”

Vriska rolled her eyes. “Okay, I guess she isn’t actually a bitch, but I still don’t have to like her.” She flopped against John, “ _I_ was supposed to be the girl for Tavros. I was supposed to be the girl that made him better, I was supposed to be the girl he owed; but no, she had to be the one, and I can’t even hate her because she’s too fucking _nice_.”

Gamzee chuckled and rolled onto his back again, and Dave and Karkat both relaxed.

John rubbed his girlfriend’s shoulders. “I know you two have a history together, but maybe it’s okay to just be friends.”

Dave laid back, resting his head in Terezi’s lap. “I guess I can forgive you being upset. If it helps any, I don’t think it was Jade, me, or Gamzee. The one who made him grow is him.”

“Yeah right…” mumbled Vriska. “Like that easily-manipulated, spineless pansy could just decide to change on his own. Why didn’t he do that when we were kids, then, hmmmmmmmm?”

“We was thirteen, Spiderbabe,” laughed Gamzee. “Motherfuckers ain’t gonna go from kids to adults without changin’ some, an’ some of us does that more’n others. Remember how Sunglasses Junior here was all stone-faced an’ shit? Couldn’ say a straight-forward line t’save his motherfuckin’ life. An’ I seem to be all recallin’ John boy hadn’ yet figured out what was up with his sexuality at the time, too. Fuck, man, Rezzy couldn’ even see, an’ now she sees more proper’n I do, an’ me? I know for certain that I ain’t the motherfucker I was then. We all done changed a mess, and it’s likely as anythin’ we got some changin’ yet to do. At the core, though? We all is ourselves, it’s just bein’ the details what change. Gettin’ back to our fav’rit brown-eyed hatrack; Tavbro is still Tavbro. He still gots the mad compassion goin’ on, he still digs on them fairies an’ shit, an’ even if he walks an’ talks most times like knows he got worth now, he’s still got that big gooshy Tav-heart he always was all havin’, an’ he still got that sweet gooey center like some kinda truffle; the chocolate kind, not the fungus-kind you gets with pigs in the forest an’ shit. Hey, any o’you bros gettin’ hungry? I gots me the munchies all a sudden.”

Gamzee fished a granola bar out from a bag next to the cooler.

“I guess…” Vriska sighed.

Not much was said for a while. Bro remained immersed in his book, and Terezi got up and danced away to cause trouble elsewhere. Dave fell asleep once more, issuing small snores, while Karkat and Gamzee talked, which is to say, Gamzee chatted and Karkat argued. John continued to rub Vriska’s shoulders, the troll’s head still in his lap.

Vriska pouted up at John. “Amuse me,” she said.

“He’s not your fucking plaything,” barked Karkat, momentarily dropping his conversation with Gamzee.

“But I’m saaaaaaaad, and when I’m sad I get into trouble, and you don’t want trouble, do you?”

“It’s okay, Karkat,” said John. “What do you want me to do, Vriska?”

“Mmm, well, we could sneak off into the woods for a little frolic…”

John choked a little. “I, um, don’t think I’m quite ready for that, Vriska.”

She pouted. “Hmph. Well, I dare you to rip the unicorn sticker off Dave’s butt.”

“I wouldn’t, if I were you,” said, Bro, thumbing a page in his book.

“Bluh, boring losers. Oh! Would you make a little raincloud that follows Terezi around? Teach her a lesson about messing with your girl.”

“That takes a lot of time to do, and I’d do it if you wanted, but she thought it was hilarious the last time you asked me to do that.”

“I guess…hmm. Ooooooooh…how about our verbal contract? That would amuse me.”

John blushed and faltered. “I thought you said tomorrow?”

“But I need amusing _now!_ ” She sat up, flashing the very puppy-dogiest of eyes. John’s heart melted a little.

“John, you don’t have to do whatever Serket tells you,” said Karkat.

“Will that really make you happy?” John asked, ignoring the nubby-horned troll.

Vriska smiled and clapped her hands. “Oh yes, John!”

“And you’ll promise to stay out of trouble, even if you get bored tomorrow?”

“Cross and double-cross my heart! Cross it eight times!”

John stood up, and Karkat whined in his not-quite-panicked-but-close way about how he didn’t have to do this, but lo and behold, the trunks came off. John sat back down and handed his discarded shorts to his girlfriend, who giggled and beamed like a kid in a toy store. Dave, who had awoken once more during the ruckus, joined his brother in a slow clap, before brushing himself off and declaring that, being unable to sleep, he’d go for a dip. John was embarrassed, but he smiled indulgently as Vriska squealed and cuddled up to him. He couldn’t help covering himself with his hands, however, until Karkat passed him a newspaper to cover himself with.

John swept his eyes across the beach. He was getting used to the new situation, and really, things weren’t as bad as he thought they would be. He had expected weirder. He had expected more awkward. He had expected more troll-wang, specifically troll-wang he wasn’t interested in. Yeah, his sister’s boobs were among those displayed, and that was still kind of gross, but at least she wasn’t doing anything weird in plain sight or anything. And yeah, Madame Lalonde was pulling his dad towards the grassy quarter, and he didn’t want to think about that too hard, but they were still pretty chastely dressed, as far as swimwear went, so the new nude-friendly policy could hardly be blamed.

The sheer amount of normal was the weird thing. People were playing and talking and teasing like usual, and the oddest thing seemed that there were more people on the beach than usual, nothing more. Like nudity didn’t have to be a strange thing, unless he decided it was.

He didn’t feel especially awkward or grossed out, even though he did feel exposed, but it wasn’t as if he was alone in that. Now that would have been weird. But no, there were a few who were showing skin that normally wouldn’t. Dispassionately, just for sake of his own curiosity, he counted in his mind…himself and Vriska, Dave, Jade, Tavros, Gamzee, Terezi, Bro, and Feferi. Nine. Ten, if he counted the Eridan’s downgrade from full-body cover to tacky swim trunks, because technically, that was kind of flashing fresh skin; sort of like how Terezi was wearing a lot less than usual. Huh.

“Geez Louise,” said John, “there’s a bunch of naked people on this beach.”


End file.
